i can't seem to give my self-esteem the help it needs. no matter what, i always end up feeling like i'm bringing everyone down, like everything and everyone would be better without me. like i'm a bad person, a fraud, an impostor. i'm never good nor good enough. i always see myself as the scum of the earth.

no amount of people telling me i'm helping or doing good seems to do anything about it. it bounces of off me and every time somebody thanks me for something i did, all i want to do is apologize to them because it feels like all i did was the bare minimum and this person has been used to so little that this is enough to warrant praise.

it always feels like i never do any good to anyone. i can never let myself believe it. i try and i try, to be there for people, to hear them out, i'll drop anything for anyone in my circles who needs me, all i want to do is to be selfless and all i feel like is selfish.