SF STORY PREMISE:
SETI program decodes an alien signal clearly targeting us.
Hi! We see you're still facing the Great Filter! We want to help! Based on your anatomy per broadcasts we decoded, here is a blueprint for a device that will solve your problem!
Humans: decode blueprint.
It's for an improved guillotine.
@cstross 😁
Ok, but, how do you improve a guillotine? You make it laser? But then you need electricity. You make it serial/self reloading victims? But then you'll miss the show. You make it self cleaning blood residue? It makes it less scary!
It's such a perfect, simple, efficient, terrorizing machine...
@lgsp @cstross A guillotine relies upon sliding motion, whereas a rotating blade can provide much more efficient cutting.
Notice how we slice cold cuts with a circular spinning blade, not a sliding blade.
An improved guillotine could use a circular blade attached to an axle. The axle rolls down a ramp. This ramp has a slot for the blade, and this slot is aligned with the victim's neck.
Charlie Stross
lgsp
Isaac Ji Kuo