Everyone helping assemble Dr. Galen’s progenitor flag.

Massive origin story for the damn galaxy, never once mentioned ever again.

They wanted an explanation about why all species are humanoid, mostly because makeup on an actor is cheaper than making unique species. the explanation sucked, no explanation could have worked.

That is like having a whole 3 part episode on why there are no toilets on any federation ships, or why there is sound in space, or why they don’t use seatbelts…

why there are no toilets on any federation ships

No way, half the time JLP says he’ll be in his ready room he means he’s heading to the porcelain captain’s chair to fire off some earl grey torpedoes.

In the future you can choose to deuce the traditional way or have it beamed directly out of your colon, and Picard loves his photon bombing rituals.

I’ve held that theory for years. that due to teleport tech, people no money need toilets, as urine and fecal matter gets teleported out.

And part of Starfleet training involves potty training, where they have to train on how urinate/defecate during away missions.

Do teleported urine and feces leave vacuum behind? Because that would mean massive cavitation bubbles in both the bladder and the rectum, immediately collapsing with a loud bang and a momentary increase in temperature over 100°C.
No wonder McCoy hates transporters

maybe instead of teleporting out the entire contents of a full rectum, you teleport a ml at a time, or basically teleport every tiny bit as it enters the rectum, same with the bladder.

Honestly, teleporter tech is criminally underused in that universe.

can you teleport out co2 from the alveoli and replace with oxygen instead of needing a respirator? imagine 99% of surgeries could be done with teleport tech instead of needing to cut anything.

fuck, maybe that is how Hypospray works, and how it can inject drugs into the bloodstream without hurting the skin or the clothes they are wearing.

There is also the transporter buffer, they can put a lot of stuff in the buffer, why not use it for storage? Or maybe a brig?

One of the Abrahams movie casually made spaceships obsolete by having teleporters that can reach across the galaxy.

And those are ideas that I came up in a couple minutes of thinking.

I’ve just thought of another consequence: if the waste is always teleported out, then the muscles of the bladder and the rectum are gonna become dystrophic, while the anal sphincter forgets how to loosen. In addition, the urinary tract might dry out for want of any moisture from the bladder.

Now imagine that one day your trusty crap teleporter breaks down. You’re stuck with urine and shit filling the bladder and the rectum, while both outlets are plugged from years of disuse and you don’t know anymore how to push the stuff out.

it wouldn’t just happen to you. but to everyone in the ship. they have to fix it before they start wretching in pain.

Indeed. Wait, did you forget that your ship is a minuscule trade boat, and the whole crew is you and another guy, with none of you being specialists in teleporter repair?

You’re still a day from your destination.

horror survival story
The transported feces is replaced with whatever the crewmember desires. In Picard’s case, Tea Earl Grey Hot! Riker gets a vibrator. Troi, a particular mix of heroin and qualuudes.

In Picard’s case, Tea Earl Grey Hot

Classy and tasty enema.

Why would Picard bother when his ready room has his own private toilet?

He should have a little door that slides open and lets him see the fishes when he’s pooping, and then closed again to hide the head when he’s not using it.
Hilarity ensues when Worf walks into the ready room while that’s going on, sees the Captain’s distorted face gazing through the spherical fishbowl, and reflexively whips out his phaser and starts blasting what he assumes to be the Monster of the Week.
What are the two spare turbolifts for?
One is for emergencies, one is for exclusive use for the Executive Officer in Charge of Radishes.
Do radishes have some important part in the synthesis of dilithium crystals?

Even MORE important.

This. If there’s actually a toilet, then how does it work? I imagine the toilet probably works like the replicators do. You notice how when anyone on board the Enterprise eats, there’s dishes, but no sinks/dishwashers? When they’re finished eating, they literally set the dirty dishes down in the replicator and they’re instantly returned back to energy. I imagine the toilets work under the same principle.
Actually, I have a very vague memory of them teleporting a baby out of the mother during birth when there were complications, at the start of a TNG episode I think. Or did I make that up?
I want to be a people-no-money-need