TanteRegenbogen1d ago

I hope this is the right comm for this

https://feddit.org/post/27388780

Show threadbearboiblake

To inject a bit of nuance here, I think a more dynamic approach to sexual consent would actually be a good thing - not to lower it, obviously, but rather instead to protect more vulnerable people. The idea that kids just stop being vulnerable to coercion at 18 is honestly kinda stupid to me, I think instead we should have a less clear-cut barrier and if there is an issue it should come down to a court opinion, taking into account other kinds of power imbalances - such as wealth disparity, abusive power dynamics (say, between a professor and a student, or a boss and an employee), disability, etc.

People in a position of authority shouldn’t feel legally safe just because the person they’re abusing is over the age of 18. The burden of consent should be higher in such cases. Just in my opinion.

Mar 21 at 12:21amWeb
Show threadchemical_cutthroat1d ago
The problem is precedent. While it would be wonderful to try everything on a person to person basis, the first time a 30 year old is “mentally incompetent” in a rape trial, it becomes the de facto argument for every lawyer going forward. That’s why a set age is important. I agree with you wholeheartedly, and I’d love for the system to be more nuanced, but lawyers have shown time and time again to take the path of least resistance/easiest win.
Show threadbearboiblake1d ago
I’m not a lawyer, so forgive me if this is a stupid question - isn’t there some way that there can be a provision put into law that stipulates that every case must be decided on its own basis and that prior cases don’t necessarily set precedent or something?
Show threadchemical_cutthroat1d ago

I think at that point you’d quickly run out of attorneys willing to take the cases. It would stretch every singe one, even the simple ones, into years long affairs with endless appeals. Without some firm guardrails, it would turn bad quickly.

However, we aren’t completely screwed. The law is 18, but that doesn’t mean it has to be a hard cut off. You can still hold a trial if they are over 18, it’s just that it requires a burden of proof by the accuser. It’s harder because the case has to be built on evidence of coercion or incapacity, which is genuinely hard to establish without witnesses.

The problem that you are seeing isn’t a failure in the system to prosecute, it getting it to that stage in the first place. Honestly, that begins with education, which can be very difficult. Teach young people to not be afraid to report these crimes can go a long way to getting that evidence into the right hands. The longer someone waits, the harder it becomes. The barrier is often institutional reluctance from schools, families, and communities that treat these conversations as taboo rather than necessary.

Show threadbearboiblake1d ago

Thanks for the explanation. Frankly, and this may be TMI, apologies if so, but I’m actually a survivor of sexual abuse as a kid, and personally, the idea of taking legal action against any of my abusers is nightmare fuel, I absolutely would never do it under any circumstances. The idea of having my trauma exposed, questioned and dragged out over an extended period would be far, far more than I could bear. It would absolutely destroy me worse than the actual abuse ever did.

Besides which, even if I did it, it wouldn’t be justice. The way I see it, society holds most of the blame, rather than the actual individuals who directly harmed me. It wasn’t just them, but the entire system that puts people into positions of power over kids, the whole authoritarian world, where kids are treated as second class citizens, and not trusted. Most people can never really understand my perspective, so I tend to not talk about it a lot.

Sorry for oversharing, I just felt the need to get that out

Show threadchemical_cutthroat1d ago

I’m right there with you. I was targeted by a neighbor and a stranger. I never told anyone about it. Even now I don’t talk about it.

I’m sorry you had to go through it. I’m here to tell you that it’s OK if you don’t want to do anything about it. Sometimes it’s easier to just push it away. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to. Live your life how you see fit, and however makes you happiest.

Show threadbearboiblake1d ago

Thanks for sharing that, and for the kind words. Same to you - remember you aren’t alone and your feelings, whatever they may be, are totally valid. I’ve had several years of therapy, which did help a lot, and I’d really recommend it, but yeah… I did actually try to tell adults about it at the time and I wasn’t believed and it just fundamentally broke something inside me in a way that feels irreparable. If I share something about it and someone doubts me I immediately go into full blown panic fight/flight mode. It’s horrible.

Anyways, thanks for the chat, and much love to you, I wish you all the best <3

Show threadViceversa1d ago
Ok. At what age would the cut off be then?
Show threadbearboiblake1d ago
I think you misunderstand me, I’m not proposing to change the cut-off age, I’m saying that other factors should be involved too, not just age
Show threadViceversa1d ago

Now the cut-off age is used as a threshold, after which presumption of innocence is kicking in (sex between adults is consensual until proven otherwise).

In your proposition there would be no such threshold?

Show threadbearboiblake1d ago
The reason we have an age of consent is to protect vulnerable people (kids) from exploitation, right? I want to extend that protection, to protect people from those in positions of authority. So if you’re a university professor, just because your student is 18 and consents, I think that should also be considered statutory rape, as an example. I do not believe consent can be freely given in those circumstances.
Show threadViceversa1d ago
Will there be a presumption of innocence in your concept?
Show threadbearboiblake1d ago
I don’t really understand what you’re asking me here, can you explain a bit about what you’re trying to get at?
Show threadDiplomjodler1d ago
And guess do you think that will be interpreted in “conservative” areas? They’ll just take it as a new excuse to criminalise sex.
Show threadbearboiblake1d ago
Yeah that’s a good point actually