Lard Motel
The Right Irreverend@lardmotel You know why Kellogg started the cereal business? To produce food to dampen the sex drives of kids and thus stop them from masturbating. He had a clinic in Michigan to treat wayward wankers. Graham crackers were another self-abuse prevention product.
Doktor Overcomma 
@dadakopf @lardmotel This reminds me once again that I need to get the movie based on that tale through interlibrary loan.
"Starring Anthony Hopkins, Matthew Broderick, Bridget Fonda, John Cusack, Dana Carvey and Colm Meaney, ..."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Road_to_Wellville_(film)
"Starring Anthony Hopkins, Matthew Broderick, Bridget Fonda, John Cusack, Dana Carvey and Colm Meaney, ..."
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Road_to_Wellville_(film)
@bobcromwell @lardmotel In college, I loved to wander the library to find treasures…. One day, I saw this old book authored by a Kellogg. Breakfast cereal? I picked it up and opened it, to find a hilarious, sadistic, screed about the horrors of masturbation. And yes, breakfast cereal! A truly sick man… But reading here and there in Plain Facts for Old and Young, was also an interesting trip through old ideas about goodness and badness. Here’s a link if you’re curious.
https://www.gutenberg.org/files/19924/19924-h/19924-h.htm#chapb5