@lunabee

Simulation Operator A: "Time to Puberting...14 billion years"

SO B: "Ooh, that's a new record"

SO A: "Yeah this universe produced multicellular life just about as fast as its physics allows. We could theoretically get one that produces sapient life a bit quicker, but this will be tough to beat."

SO B: "So do we wrap it up and report to the journal?"

SO A: "Nah, I really wanna try for 13 billion, and we have the funding for more attempts."

SO B: "Good thinking, Pubert."

SO A: "Thanks, Pubert."