Mastodawn

Jules she/her Aug 24, 2025

I realised something recently, that just about all the advice my parents gave me about education, careers, housing and finances has been flat out wrong. All the advice they gave me about relationships, friendship, grieving and supporting someone grieving, has been really useful to me over the years. And I think that says something about what's important and unchanging about the human experience really, and how what current society tells us to focus on will become unrecognisable in a generation.

NatalyaD Mar 18

@afewbugs I keep having to explain to my mum (age 75) that furniture is NOT expensive but rent/mortgages are MASSIVE. And that for 1-3 months' rent in most places, you could furnish an entire house with IKEA type stuff.

My mum is stuck in the early 70s, rent was cheap but places were grotty and furniture was £££. Mum and Dad had grocers' boxes and a wardrobe door as a table for months after moving in. Their first bed cost £££ and was an investment 'for life' (25yrs till the divorce).

@NatalyaD @afewbugs
I was told the same!
We finally managed to save up for a down payment, and we were told "make sure to budget about $10k for furnishing it". What?!?!?

We've lived in an apartment for 18 years and have everything we need already. I can get any other piece of furniture I'd want secondhand for less than $100. WTF would I spend $10k on?

NatalyaD Mar 18

Yep! I think even second hand furniture in the 70s was expensive in the UK at least. Whereas now I think the 2nd hand costs dropped because there is so much cheap mass produced stuff that is "trendy".

Much of our furniture is acquired from our families. My partner built our bed as a strange size (Euro King Size) which cost a few hundred pounds + a few mattresses.

Otherwise I think since 2003 we've bought 2x 4 chairs and 2x tables all 2nd hand all under £70 total.

Sue Archer Mar 18

@NatalyaD @Artemis201 @afewbugs

As we contemplate selling our house and moving in the next year or so, we're often discussing what's worth taking, and what isn't, and a lot of furniture and appliances fall into the "easier not to take, and just replace cheaply second hand at the other end" category. We'll just donate what we can here, and take the minimum we need to be comfortable while we acquire 'new' stuff later.

NatalyaD Mar 18

@suearcher @Artemis201 @afewbugs

That makes perfect sense, and it means you can keep the stuff you know you definitely like, but get new-to-you stuff that is more suited to your new place and lifestyle.

I think my mum is going to end up living between houses and is trying to get rid of everything she doesn't care about to minimise storage hassle before her new place. Esp now she has the Glossop place to obtain replacement stuff if needed.

Alfred Chow - Maker of Things Mar 18

@NatalyaD @suearcher @Artemis201 @afewbugs
Many years ago I helped friends move from Yorkshire to north Scotland. I hired a 7.5 ton truck, loaded it full and drove it up there for them. Then drove it back empty.

When they were returning, they flew me from Manchester up to Inverness, where I picked up a 3.5 ton van, and moved them back south again.
The van was not full because they just sold most of their stuff and replaced it afterward they arrived south.
The van was one way hire and just needed to go to a local depot.

Their next move didn't even require my help.
______

Of our move, Sue and I are being brutal about what we are not taking.
I think we are even going to take new Ikea vacuum packed mattresses to save transport space, and leave our old ones behind.

@Maker_of_Things @suearcher @Artemis201 @afewbugs

I guess a lot comes down to whether furniture has sentimental value too. I think When It Was Expensive, it was often an heirloom almost, so had memories regardless of its financial value.

And I must admit I do like some of my inherited furniture and thinking "this was in my bedroom when I was a kid (AND it's useful now)".

I think my parents splitting up means I inherited stuff early when I was skint, that she no longer wanted.

Sue Archer Mar 19

@NatalyaD @Maker_of_Things @Artemis201 @afewbugs

Yes, we've got a few items of sentimental value, and a few more that are downright useful.

We totted up what furniture would be essential to have on Day One, and it's really very little. Beds, chests of drawers. Alfred's Mum needs her chair and a table to eat at. We're used to eating off our knees on our sofas, so we don't even need a dining table (although we have one that we got free, but never had the space to erect)

Jules she/her Mar 19

@NatalyaD @Maker_of_Things @suearcher @Artemis201 a lot of the older higher quality furniture doesn't fit in modern houses either. My parents moved with a huge solid wood wardrobe that belonged to my Gran, when they got to the new house (which was built in the 1960s) the movers discovered it didn't fit up the stairs. So it sat in the garage for years until eventually they wanted the space, discovered they couldn't sell it and eventually had to dispose of it as bulky waste through the council. I think the very high quality expensive furniture only worked in the days when you lived in one huge house for life, instead of having to move regularly

Alfred Chow - Maker of Things Mar 19

@afewbugs @NatalyaD @suearcher @Artemis201
This is very true.

When my ex wife and I moved from London to Manchester we found our old wardrobe wouldn't fit up the stairs in our rental house.
I ended up cutting the decorative cornice off the top, and feet off the bottom.

We also struggled moving our big 1930s sofa bed, and had to take out windows to get it in and out.
It was only after the third move that we found it could be taken apart and moved in bits! 😄

NatalyaD Mar 20

@Maker_of_Things @afewbugs @suearcher @Artemis201

I think back in the day all furniture was big/heavy and perhaps poorer people with less stable housing had less of it.

Now we have dismantelable furniture which is less big.

@NatalyaD @suearcher @afewbugs @Artemis201 @Maker_of_Things It's a shame that the intersection of 'good quality' and 'dismantleable' is fairly small.

When I made our euro-kingsize bed frame back in 2013, I designed it to be take apart into single-person-carryable pieces in a way that could be done repeatedly without wearing anything out (unlike the flatpack desks that are getting shonky after umpty house moves). You'd think that would be a compelling feature given the insecurity of housing, but I suppose disposably cheap wins if you don't know if you're even going to have space for it.

Quixoticgeek Mar 21

@kim @NatalyaD @suearcher @afewbugs @Artemis201 @Maker_of_Things I'm currently working on the design to make my own bed. Ability to break it down into sensible size parts (not least so it fits in the lift) is one of the key design requirements. But it's hard. Good looking design, and dismantleable is complicated.

Alfred Chow - Maker of Things 6d ago

@quixoticgeek @kim @NatalyaD @suearcher @afewbugs @Artemis201
Our bed is one I made from salvaged materials, mostly from mahogany '4x2's and two doors.
It breaks down into:
Headboard
Footboard
3No. long rails
2No. boards (Made from hollow core doors to go under the mattress)
4No. wedges

The only awkward part to move is the superking sized mattress.

I have abandoned the top part which made it into a four poster bed.

Sue Archer 6d ago

@Maker_of_Things @quixoticgeek @kim @NatalyaD @afewbugs @Artemis201

...and the newel post topper ball feet, which made it too high for short legged me to sit on comfortably. But which were handsome.

NatalyaD 6d ago

@suearcher @Maker_of_Things @quixoticgeek @kim @afewbugs @Artemis201

Yes, Kim planned our bed height carefully and it is higher than typical which was optimal for post hip surgery when I was allowed back upstairs.

Alfred Chow - Maker of Things 6d ago

@NatalyaD @suearcher @quixoticgeek @kim @afewbugs @Artemis201
My bed height was planned around the dog, I had then, not being able to get up onto it.

NatalyaD 6d ago

@Maker_of_Things @suearcher @quixoticgeek @kim @afewbugs @Artemis201

A counter design to the Sue short height challenge.