Chippys_mittens3d ago

How possibly?

https://lemmy.world/post/44422485

Show threadSamskara3d ago

Men

  • higher loneliness
  • seen as dangerous by default
  • higher mental illness
  • worse academic performance
  • higher suicide rates
  • higher rates of homelessness
  • less likely to get child custody in a divorce
  • less support infrastructure
  • are more likely to be dismissed when asking for help
  • work more dangerous jobs
  • higher workplace accident rate
  • higher probability to be victim of a violent crime
  • more likely to suffer from addiction (gambling, porn, substances)
  • lower life expectancy
  • higher incarceration rate
  • more likely to be poor
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit

What is the source of these issues?

Maybe men should stop being so shitty to men, but more so they should definitely stop being so hostile and abusive to women.

Mar 18 at 6:05pmWeb
Show threadLurkingLuddite3d ago
Maybe it’s not all men and using such generic language is akin to saying, “maybe the gays should stop being so flamboiyant if they want acceptance”?
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago

Nice dog whistle.

Where did I say “all men?” Is it not entirely possible that these are all issues caused explicitly by men while there is also a conscious awareness from other men who are aware of and trying to address the issue? Men are the issue, or more accurately the concept of obligate masculinity is, but guess what demographic is enforcing that mindset?

Hint: not women, and if you think it is then you don’t listen to women nor men.

Show threadeestileib3d ago

Women police the patriarchy plenty.

My experience from square straight married life is that women want men in general to be gentle and kind and whatnot, but they want their own husband to be capable of violence.

At least that was my wife, there were aspects of toxic masculinity that she absolutely encouraged.

Like, one time I got on a busy train with her and another guy got scared of me and left his seat. She sat down and smiled and patted my hand and said “that’s respect right there baby”

And I totally understand the desire to have sex with a big strong not too bright dominant guy, trust me I get it.

It’s not just SOs, mothers often play a huge part in conditioning men for the patriarchy, calling them little soldiers, telling them not to cry, to fight back at the bully at school, etc.

Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
So, because women also have the ability to subjectively be shitty people and internalize misogyny that means no men are to blame for the outlined issues?
Show threadSamskara1d ago
Exactly. Women will encourage men to do violence on their behalf pretty often.
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
You’re wrong
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
Thats not a dog whistle
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
I see you’re having a great time with this post.
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
I mean, I am, but, that wasn’t a dog whistle.
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
It was, though.
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
How so, because I don’t think you’re operating with the correct definition
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
“Not all men” is a misogynist dog whistle. Point blank.
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
Literally false
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
It’s not, though.
Show threadLurkingLuddite3d ago
Not a dog whistle. I’m most likely more progressive than you, but you keep trying to feel superior to others! That’s definitely not a part of the problem!
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
Do… do you not see the irony in what you just wrote? Read it back to yourself.
Show threadLurkingLuddite3d ago
Oh I know it. Irony or not, I know what I’m talking about and you’re yapping like a reactionary fool.
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
Sure.
Show threadTranscendentalEmpire3d ago
That would imply it’s the gay community itself that is not accepting flamboyant gays…
Show threadSamskara3d ago
The gay community is not uniformly homogeneous. There are plenty of gay men who aren’t big fans of flamboyant queer culture.
Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
Shhhh they wanna use a big paint brush, it supports their argument
Show threadTranscendentalEmpire3d ago

“Aren’t big fans” is not the same as being bigoted, or discriminating against…

Do think there are some Lincoln Republic gays out their thinking Tommy is going to hell, not because he’s queer, but because he sashays too hard?

Show threadSamskara3d ago
Have you ever talked to gay men?
Show threadTranscendentalEmpire3d ago

Yes? I’m even friends with several queer people…shocking as that may be.

I even know a few conservative leaning gay dudes, our gay district has a gaybar specifically for cowboys. Even they don’t hate or discriminate against flamboyant gay men. They might not seek their company or want anything to do with that particular scene, but they are still neighborly.

Show threadChippys_mittens3d ago
Homeboy played the “I have gay friends” card, it was super effective.
Show threadShrimpCurler3d ago

I’m sure all the male homicide victims would be really glad they weren’t killed by women because then they would have lost their privilege…

I really hate this reasoning I see sometimes that because men hurt other men we don’t need to care about those victims. We can just dismiss them and assume they still have all their male privilege because a smaller number of women are also victims. How about we stop framing all this stuff as men vs women and who has it better and instead focus on the actual problems and the actual victims regardless of their gender expression?

Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
You’re really good at not understanding systemic socio psychology issues.
Show threadShrimpCurler3d ago
Maybe you’re just too focused on a single way of categorising people
Show threadNotASharkInAManSuit3d ago
Sure.