Football (sports fandom in general) is one of the few spaces where manly men have a safe space to express all their emotions in a supportive group setting: anger, hate, joy, sadness, love, enthusiasm, and so on.

Men are often sanctioned by women when they show weakness. So this is a very important psychological, social, and therapeutic space for men. It’s an outlet for suppressed emotions, which is healthy.

You might think it’s silly, but it’s a good and healthy institution and custom.

Men are often sanctioned by women when they show weakness.

I’m a man. It is extremely rare for me to experience this firsthand. I can count on one hand how many times in my entire life, and its been decades since the most recent time/ Even then it wasn’t criticism from a woman was close to me.

It’s usually pretty subtle. People will quietly lose respect for you and shut you out over time.

That being said, I dont give a shit about people’s perception of my manliness or sexuality. I’m straight, trained in martial arts and boxing, can shoot well, can fix things around the house decently well, moderately know my way around a car. But I’ll be sensitive and open with my feelings if I want to, which is frequent. I cry at weddings, funerals, sad movies, and even when I think about how lucky I am to have my wife. I joke about kissing the homes goodnight, and flirt back with gay dudes that hit in me (without leading them on).

I’m often DISAPPOINTED in people for how they react and judge sometimes, but always happier when those people remove themselves from my life. I never let it affect who I am.

It’s usually pretty subtle. People will quietly lose respect for you and shut you out over time, or just gossip about you behind your back.

Oh okay. I suppose that might happen more often but there are trash people everywhere that do shitty things like that based upon race, sexual preference, etc. I don’t spend any time sorting them into different groups before I dismiss them and ignore them.

That being said, I dont give a shit about people’s perception of my manliness or sexuality.

Yep, that’s my same state. As such, I don’t feel I have a need for a “safe space” in sports to express my emotions. I have no problem with other men expressing their emotions in sports spaces either, I just personally have that need for a defined space.

I’m often DISAPPOINTED in people for how they react and judge sometimes, but always happier when those people remove themselves from my life. I don’t fawn after the approval of random assholes, be they male or female, and I never let it affect who I am. That’s what manliness actually is about: self actualization.

I agree entirely. Just to note, self actualization absolutely also encompasses “empathy” as well, and that, in my mind, is one of the most important aspects. Knowing yourself means perceiving the world and those around you, and understanding the impacts of that world on others, and the impacts we each have on those. I’m pointing this out because what it looks like we’re having here is ultimately a discussion on empathy.

On your last note, I agree with you that empathy is important. I do give a shit what other people think and feel, but not when they are clearly line stepping, judgmental, and disrespectful. It’s literally impossible to people please because people have wildly varying and opposite opinions.