what did you learn from being trans? - tchncs

i thought it would be nice if we shared some general expiriences. i list some of my learnings below. feel free to add! :)) note that i was a part of my local queer spaces for longer already, so my thoutghts on networks might seem obvious to you. but since i gad my inner coming out my love for my communities has only intensified. ## local networks are key there are a lot of good reasons to seek out for other queer people in your area (be it a queer party or a self help group). the obvious downside is that you need to trust those people. especially in harsher political/societal environments it might be a hard decision, who to trust. my pros: - you will find people who live in the same city/region and who can give you important advice. - you can exchange contacts of doctors/practioners and learn who to avoid. - you will find yourself in a (more) accepting space, where people will sit next to you while you vent your frustration and share your joy. - you will find radical friends. solidarity is strong. queer groups tend to make happen a lot of crazy stuff for their members. you will be adopted by them. ## being out might not just help you this is anecdotal but i have helped some people navigating early transition, which i could not have done in the same way, if i hadn’t been out to my friends and haven’t had the confidence to (quasi) publicly share my expiriences. similarly i know a person who is very stealth (transitioned as teen, moved …), and is only out to a few close friends. she is scared of the political climate and with this very alone. when i came out to her, we talked a while and i promised to be a proxy for her to our local groups, if she doesn’t want to out herself but needs help. ## don’t get too excited – but celebrate steps! i’d advice general scepticism. your hormones might get lost in the mail, your surgery postponed. or some other shit doesn’t go as planned. there is a lot of potential to get your hopes crushed. believe it when you have it. frustration will build up. so celebrate any little step you achieved. ## being yourself is so much easier than pretending first i was afraid, (i was petrified), it would be hard to play a new role, that i needed to put in hard work to convince people i was a woman. in the end i am still myself but i don’t police myself as much anymore. sure i have done a lot more shopping lately, but that was fun, not a chore. i wear what i deem fitting. in short, i stopped worrying, if i was presenting too fem and just started to go for it. and that’s so much easier.