St Patrick drove the snakes out of Ireland, the evidence for this being that there are no snakes in Ireland that are not owned by zoos or goths.

In the same way, St Patrick must have driven the moles out of Ireland, because there are no moles. Maybe he was a golfer and they ruined the greens.

Anyway, hardware chain B&Q apparently did not know this and stocked sonic mole repellers in Northern Irish stores for years, where they never sold.

#StPatricksDay

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/northern_ireland/7335006.stm

BBC NEWS | UK | Northern Ireland | Blindingly obvious... mole repellers useless

DIY retailer B&Q is recalling sonic mole repellers from its Northern Ireland stores - because the mammals do not exist in Ireland.

@Nickiquote "And there's another two tracks from sonic mole repellers coming up here on the Steve Lamacq show but here's Newsbeat."