The alternative to this is to join, get deployed, then mess everything up as bad as possible. Be completely useless, worse than useless even. Fuck up every assignment you’re given, hopefully so badly it causes lots of damage and possibly save some lives.
Unless you have extreme confidence you won’t get caught, that seems like a one way ticket to physical and mental abuse hell. Well, probably prison too, but atleast there you might come across other likeminded people and you don’t have to touch any guns.