Laíns ⚡🌈🇵🇸I've been introspecting how I feel, and how to describe it. the best way I can put it is that I simply don't feel like a person, not really, not completely. it's as if something horrible has happened to me, and intrinsically broke me.
but there's seemingly nothing, which then makes me feel like I am somehow fabricating it. it ends up with me just constantly trying to push it down, and making me feel crazy for feeling like that. as if I am fraud even in the way I feel.
when some traumatic event happens to someone, yeah it makes logical sense that they may feel sorta like this. but for me it feels like it comes just from my mere existence.
it's just a constant cycle of me feeling horrible, then somehow subduing it via some external coping mechanism and feeling like I am crazy for feeling like this in the first place.