ordinarycanuckMar 10

Sister's destination wedding affordability

https://lemmy.ca/post/61604927

Sister's destination wedding affordability - Lemmy.ca

My sister is planning a destination wedding, and the total cost for my Wife and I to attend is $5,000 for just four nights. We simply cannot justify that expense. However, when I told her it was unaffordable for us, she pointed out that we are planning our own family vacation this year. Her argument? “you can’t afford my wedding next year but you can afford a vacation now?”. Am I the asshole for politely declining my sister’s wedding invite? A family vacation is not the same as forking out $$ to go to someone else’s wedding/honeymoon.

Show threadMpatch
Anyone who decides to have a destination wedding is an asshole.
Mar 11 at 1:32amWeb
Show threadWeirdfishMar 11

Anyone who expects me to attend their destination wedding is the asshole.

They are free to do their thing where ever they want.

Just don’t give me shit for not coming.

Show threadMSBBritainMar 11

I feel like this is easier said than done. Especially if one partner has their family and friends abroad/far away.

If half the group needs to travel anyway, wouldn’t a half way point be much fairer to all? Plus since the internet, and especially since COVID, it’s been much easier and more common to maintain close long distance friendships, so maybe no one lives nearby?

Feels like we’re missing context on where and why the wedding is where it is, otherwise there will be plenty of arguments on which side/who has to travel.

Show threadordinarycanuckMar 11
The wedding is out of country for both parties, bride/groom friends/family. So every guest from both sides is going to have to pay at least $3000 CAD each to just attend the destination wedding for 4 days. Some guests/families will have to pay $8,000-10,000
Show threadMSBBritainMar 11

Yeah. But that’s the whole point: is it fairer to be out of the country for both or for one? And if you’re going to all be travelling, might you not just as well go somewhere nice?

Not saying you’re the asshole (quite the opposite), I’m just saying your sister isn’t necessarily either for wanting you there even though it’s expensive.

Maybe there’s a way to make the trip cheaper: maybe going alone or be there for the ceremony while skipping everything else?

Show threadordinarycanuckMar 11

I suggested to them that I’d rather pay that money and go have a wedding in a much more beautiful place. But they don’t want to pay $$ for their wedding. That’s why they (and I assume most people) do destination weddings at resorts. If you get ‘X’ amount of people to book through their agent/resort, then the wedding couple don’t have to pay anything for their wedding.

It’s incredibly selfish IMO. They offset the costs of throwing a wedding onto their guests by making them pay 4x-5x more to attend their wedding. Basically “we don’t want to pay anything for our wedding, so were gonna make guests pay $1000’s each to attend our wedding so we dont have to pay anything”

Show threadglimseMar 11
That’s usually not what people mean when they say “destination wedding,” though