Reflecting on all the times in my career as a software engineer I have been told that, yes, things were a bit unfair to me as a woman, but that I was being a trailblazer, I was the one discovering and establishing the path that would enable others to follow.

But you go back to the 70s and you see the same number of women programmers, being fed that exact same line
And in the 80s
and the 90s
and so on to today. The "trailblazer" narrative is a lie told by managers to make themselves feel better

sorry about how everything is kinda fucked up, it's just that you are so unique there is no precedent for people like you existing here

Fascinating how this same line of bullshit is given to me as a female programmer in the tech industry and as a contralto in classical singing when actually there have been people like me for over a hundred years in both

The most sickening variation of this to me is how women have been in competitive video gaming scenes since inception, but their history has been completely omitted from cultural memory and women are still being treated as newcomers to the scene. The fact that women existing in that space for decades didn't "pave the way" but were instead erased entirely
A comforting lie that a lot of men tell themselves is that sexism exists because some fools don't believe that women are as intelligent or capable as men, so if we just *show* them, when confronted with the evidence, they will stop being sexist. And you see this attitude projected backwards in historical fiction, men 200 years ago must not have known women can do any intellectual task a man can! They did know. They do know. This "just show them the evidence" strat doesn't work bc they've seen it
I have been able to suceed in my career as a female game developer due to my exceptional ability. All the other female developers I've worked with have also been exceptional. It's not that women are better devs, it's that mediocre female devs are brutally ejected. Nearly any man believes that there exist exceptional women who are very capable. What's more unusual is a man willing to tolerate a mediocre woman with the compassion he extends to a mediocre man
@Xibanya

Advocating for the right for mediocrity, as we should all be doing, means rejecting performance as a measure of status and looooots of people aren't ready for that. Just saying "competition as a value should be banned" is not well-received, it is too ingrained. "well it's only for fun/it's just a game" "I'm just competing with myself"