Tim

I suspect I will think about this fess a lot.

Not only did I do same, but the idea that both parties are doing it, thinking of their loved one or friend...and not talking directly..it's very poignant. (but NOT via that WA, please...that might be too hard for the other party to cope with)

It's very indicative of the loneliness of grief, especially the loss of a partner. That blank void...you can get lost in.

And yes I looked at Paul's (my friend who I lost to suicide) message a lot, trying to make sense since it was about 9 hours before he died.

No clues there.

#grief #bereavement

Mar 8 at 5:00pmWeb
Show threadTimMar 8

Aaandd.....this is why I don't go to Paul's YT much.

99% of his audience are respectful & lovely - but parasocial rudeness of that 1% keeps me far away and made the grief really strange.

And yes his family and friends goes to his channel to read comments and watch videos (I can't til now cos too painful), so Don't Be A Fucking Dick.

Like: really dude? Don't make assumptions about someone's mental health and their triggers - especially when you obviously know jack shit?

I responded :

"I knew Paul, Please don't make public assumptions about what happened to him...especially when they are projecting your axe to grind?

(I will never going into detail and there are still things we all don't know - but I do know that COVID/lockdown was not a trigger, or if it was he never talked about it)."