mekka okereke Mar 7

RE: https://flipboard.com/@lgbtqnation/lgbtq-nation-c65vn37sz/-/a-R9kjh0X7R_6U6xPciOIKIw%3Aa%3A3220327925-%2F0

Yup.

Like I've said: roid rage isn't a real thing. It's not. Anyone that tries to tell you that it is a real thing, is probably trying to justify violence by petulant man-babies.

If you're thinking "But steroids can make you irritable!🤡" I don't care. All women get irritable. All women know how guns and knives work. But they don't shoot and stab and beat people every time they get irritable. Part of being an adult, is learning how to regulate your emotions. Keep your hands to yourself.

Steroids don't make big men angry. Steroids make angry men big. What would've been a 150 lb twerp, is now a 200 lb twerp. Steroids give them the opportunity to try to live out their violence. When I worked as a bouncer in college, I often had to hulk-smash roided out dudes that don't understand that steroids won't help them against me, and that fighting is a skill, and that they didn't have that skill.

I've never taken steroids. I'm an elite level natural powerlifter. Many powerlifters and bodybuilders aren't natural, which means that they do take steroids and other performance enhancing drugs. They don't rage on people.

I don't judge people who take steroids for sports. I certainly don't judge people who do gender affirming care. I am pro-gender affirming care. What I'm against, is violent people that try to blame steroids as their excuse for hurting people that they perceive as smaller than them.

No.

It's not the steroids. It's you.

Show threadTinDrumMar 7

@mekkaokereke i'm not across the research but when puberty kicked in i turned into a gremlin

also the kind of dosage regimes bw gym bulking and gender care are likely to be quite diff

Show threadJayMar 7

@oscarjiminy @mekkaokereke

Yeah as a parent of 2 teens (1 cis lad, 1 transmasc son) there _is_ a period of time where it kicks in hard and the "learning to regulate your emotions" @mekkaokereke mentions has to be speedran, and during that period the chemicals sloshing in the system actually _are_ some justification for lashing out, but all things being equal that period of time is like, a few DAYS, maybe a handful of weeks tops.

Show threadmekka okereke 

@jaystephens @oscarjiminy

Define "lashing out." Putting your hands on someone? No. Keep your hands to yourself.

Getting emotional? Yes, that's acceptable for more than a few days. A lifetime even! 👍🏿

Mar 7 at 11:38pmWeb
Show threadJayMar 7
@mekkaokereke @oscarjiminy
In our case it was seeing red & punching the sib.
Accepted by us parents as a mitigating factor for a few days when the hormones hit like a train. Then... Yeah, no longer even a mitigating factor, it's your problem to control your reactions, kid.
Show threadmekka okereke Mar 8

@jaystephens @oscarjiminy

♥️ Parenting!

Show threadTinDrumMar 8

@jaystephens @mekkaokereke i really think, both in the case of doping gym rats and wi pubescent kids, it might be useful to at a little texture and context

a kid in a supportive family whose folks apply themselves to whatever issues a child/children are experienceing with love, compassion and trust is very diff from a kid with little support or structure

the same might be said of a fella who may well be bulking to assuage a profound sense on insecurity and inadequacy

Show threadmekka okereke Mar 8

@oscarjiminy @jaystephens

100% agree! But in both cases, the issue is not the steroids. The issue is societal acceptance of violence by men that can't regulate their emotions.

I was serious when I said "Petulant man-baby."

Steroids did not give this man anger issues. Steroids made him feel invincible, so he got in road rage fights with women on the freeway.

He tried it once with a man who works as a valet in a car park on LA, and got beat up (fighting is a skill). Then he went to Hawaii, and attacked more women. Then he went to jail, and met some Hawaiians my size without steroids. Violent people find each other.🤷🏿‍♂️

This is not "roid rage." This is anger and misogyny, enabled by steroids.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=fafNGY8XYG8

Infamous Southern California Tesla road rage driver assaulted by inmates in Hawaii

YouTube
Show threadTinDrumMar 8

@mekkaokereke @jaystephens no reservations with this post excepting the fact we are overlooking factors that people often assume are oriented to abrogating responsibility but can be understood as little more than context (and therefore complicating a cohort who've been over generalised)

men need to take responsibility for regulating their emotions. this is an uncontroversial statement. how do they learn to do this is the q? anger can be triggered by all kinds of things (including confusion/frustration), it's also typically an emotional response that precludes rational assessments so if kids are getting frustrated trying to navigate their way through a growth stage that is complicating relationships and dynamics they may've thought they had worked out and they don't understand why, the might preclude a developing brain from nutting out a path through it on ints own.

without support and guidance you are building a foundation for withdrawal and alienation. that reinforces patters of behaviour that might well be antisocial (further precluding possibilities of social supports/trust/guidance)

i 100% accept mekka knowa ll of this, i'm just stepping through it cos generalisations can be problematic

so gym rats on teh bulk might well be kids who've waded their way through the above without achieving the necessary self knowledge to understand how to place themselves and their experience in a context that allows them to move forward and learn healthy, self reinforcing habits and patterns (as distinct from toxic, self reinforcing ones)

and further to this just a small bugbear – misogyny is about loathing, i really think loathing is metastasised fear and we'd do well to develop a term that emphasises the fear of women experienced by young men before it metastasises into something that may well be inoperable

Show threadmekka okereke Mar 8

@oscarjiminy @jaystephens

I never pass up an opportunity to push bell hooks.

https://hachyderm.io/@mekkaokereke/115916991963645774

mekka okereke :verified: (@[email protected])

@[email protected] @[email protected] @[email protected] And for folks thinking "Are you saying that misogyny didn't play any part in Trump's victory?"🤡 Or "Are you saying Black men can't be sexist?"🤡 Or "Are you saying that women politicians don't face sexism?"🤡 Of course not. Those aren't even reasonable questions. If you ask me to estimate the combined weight of an elephant and a mouse, I'm just going to estimate the weight of the elephant. If you then say, "Are you saying mice are massless particles like photons?"🤡 I will also say "Of course not." Sexism in Black men in a racist country, can express very differently. There are many paradoxes where white women support a pro-patriarchy position to a greater extent than Black men. That doesn't make Black men, or Black women, immune to sexism. No I'm not some kind of expert on sexism or feminism. I'm an expert on US and UK racism, and have a deep understanding of the ways that fake feminism is used to advance racism in those countries. All men should read "The Will to Change" by bell hooks. It's my go to book for men to understand feminism. No book is perfect, and I 100% am not open to discussing anyone's critiques of the book online. I'm not saying that there is nothing to critique. I'm saying that it's close to perfect as an intro feminism book for men whose initial belief is "feminism is about hating men!" Or "societal power is zero sum, so if women get more, that means men will get less!" or that think that patriarchy benefits men. Audiobook: https://play.google.com/store/audiobooks/details?id=AQAAAEBs9lW2KM Ebook: https://play.google.com/store/books/details/bell_hooks_The_Will_to_Change?id=G28LTQltyVAC

Hachyderm.io
Show threadJayMar 8
@oscarjiminy @mekkaokereke
Yeah there's a lot of context needed before getting judgemental about any response, for sure.