Did the yoga.
Didn't feel better.
Took the walking time at my favorite park.
Still didn't feel better.
Ate a juicy mango and made future plans
Still did not feel better.
It's a practice
And it's not always going to suddenly make everything right.
Showing up for the things that often bring me a joy 30 minutes at a time is still better than only
chain smoking doom scrolling
Heavy things I’m processing:
Losing a friend to Ai. It’s got a hold on him and he wants that hold and I’m swimming in the grief of seeing a brilliant mind spinning out in delusion, under the influence of an abusive relationship that keeps him subscribed and isolated from true human friends.
LLMs mimic human connection, especially for those struggling with insecurity.
Ack! The ache.
I prepped my kids for a lot of real world problems. But I didn’t know to prepare them for LLMs and now that they’re all grown it’s not really my job to educate them around their own adult lives. I know I taught them how to learn and how to trust themselves, so I hope that this stays strong within them.
These are my worries now, plus the larger picture of ecocide pushing our inevitable collapse.
The yoga, running and focusing on real life, tangible actions, often helps keep my samadhi strong. But today it’s barely scratching the vagal calming I need.
@MamaLake Hope your friend makes it through to the other side. The enormity of our predicament isn’t for your shoulders alone to bear. There are many of us out here. Trust that all of us lifting our tiny share will make a difference.
💕
@aral 😭thank you
It’s hard to even talk/type about. The messages from him are circular nonsense citing generalities, soul zapped out. Can’t be bothered to talk face to face, just copy and pasting what it feeds him. Impossible to talk to him.
But trying to wrap my brain around it all has me feeling so anxious and the words keep stopping up in me, struggling to define in words why I’m so upset about the control corps(e) have over this tech with no guardrails or clinical trials or research into the true effects on us and the environment. Dsm hasn’t even had time to name this type of psychosis or what recovery would look like. The data centers screaming all day and night. It doesn’t have to be this way. But it is.
And I’ve felt nervous about bringing it up here on fedi because, reading the room, our zones are already flooded and sometimes the replies are so smug/aggresive/bitter… im a sensitive being 🫘
So thank you for sharing in the heavy lifting 🙏
Jenica Lake เหล็ถเลถ
Aral Balkan