Who the fuck taught people how to pen business emails? Holy Christ on a cracker! Absolutely nothing creams my corn more than having to actively translate what these professional suits are typing to me. I just received an email that was 5 paragraphs that essentially boiled down to, hey, I really liked your report you sent last Monday. Can we schedule a Zoom call tomorrow? Yes or no? I am so tired of professional communications. I am frankly exhausted with having to translate professional sludge. Why in the healthiest of hell is it OK, even desirable, that our society likes this kind of mind nummingcommunication? Everybody calls it professional but I just call it a gigantic fucking headache. And who the hell came up with professionalism anyhow? I’m really starting to hate the concept of professionalism and professional writing styles. No wonder everyone has meetings. No one can write. No one can string together a competent business sentence without 90,000 corporate qualifiers. You can have perfect grammar and perfect spelling and in fact be the worst writer. Can we change what it means to write professionally? Because this is a level of hell that I never noticed prior to getting away from corporate offices. #Writing #Business

@WeirdWriter

Subject: Clarification Regarding a Minor Observation on Email Communication Practices

Dear Robert,

I hope this message finds you well and that your week is progressing smoothly.

I wanted to briefly follow up regarding a small observation I encountered earlier today while reviewing a recent email exchange. After carefully reading through a thoughtfully composed message spanning several well-structured paragraphs, I was ultimately able to determine that the pri.. ran out of space

@jsjolen I choked on my cookie after hearing that. I hope there’s a part two! Absolutely hilarious
@WeirdWriter Haha, thanks. I did have a "part 2" but I just erased it when Mastodon complained about the length, sorry!