I half expected the micro-SD cards from A*Express to be fakes.

Yep.

32GB = 16GB
256GB = 4GB

I just had to buy them to find out.

Refund requested.

@linker3000 I think they do this cause they know a lot of people in the USA will put like 1 document on it and basically throw it out right after. and honestly, I suspect for the majority of cases, their right. most of them probably get thrown out without ever being used at all. Society is extremely wasteful.