I'm struggling to think of any online services for which I'd be willing to verify my identity or age

https://lemmus.org/post/20594088

IMO steam does a reasonable job of age verification - if you’ve registered a credit card, you’re obviously old enough to have one.

I am a baby with an 800 credit score. I undersigned my parents home mortgage so they’d get a good rate. The bank knows I’m a reliable lender.

Googoogaagaa

I think I saw a movie about you
CEO Infant