Cactuar JoeThis is all very Italian. #Monsterdon
Herc, c'mon. This is the bronze age, not the stick age. #Monsterdon
Well that's just embarrassing. #Monsterdon
Ferrigno looks especially weird in the little loincloth thing given that everyone else has, like, clothing. #Monsterdon
Wow, thrilling. #Monsterdon
So when Herc wasn't working the plow or tearing up the forest he was learning to use the sword and shield? #Monsterdon
Yeah, see, the problem here is that Lou's got the look but he hasn't got the MOVEMENT.
Like, when Lucy Lawless played Xena she wasn't particularly muscled out but she MOVED like she was and so you believed it. Lou's like the opposite, he just doesn't move like he's strong. He moves like he's afraid of hurting himself.
ugh the pecs look weird #Monsterdon
And that's how we got the constellation The Pencil #Monsterdon
Man, Lou's a really awful actor, huh. #Monsterdon
Y'know, this bit would be SO MUCH more effective if he just DID IT instead of narrating it and explaining it and making you wait for it
"Show, don't tell" but really more accurately it's "JUST GET ON WITH IT" #Monsterdon
And so the holy scion of purity caused a massive natural disaster. #Monsterdon
Ha ha ha they dissolve to a clean stable like it's a Scrubbing Bubbles commercial XD #Monsterdon
You know, she has impeccable blush for a woman who was convinced nobody was gonna see her face today. #Monsterdon
ZEUS WHAT THE FUCK #Monsterdon
The scheming vizier is like a species unto itself. Homo Habilis, Homo Neanderthalensis, Scheming Vizierensus
She's gonna make him a genuinely disgusting omlette. #Monsterdon
The screenwriter has heard of foreshadowing and narrative consistency and wants no truck with any of it. #Monsterdon
Huh, blood-based nose surgery. That's a new one. #Monsterdon
Hercules, close your mouth, you're catching flies. #Monsterdon
"And that sacrifice... Will be you."
Thanks, I appreciate you making that clear. I was starting to wonder why you were telling me this. #Monsterdon
"But you said they stole it!"
Herc, don't point out the inconsistencies in the plot, it's not healthy. #Monsterdon
This is literally just He-Man. #Monsterdon
"Could I just see it grow a little bit?"
The writer's barely disguised yadda yadda yadda #Monsterdon
Jesus christ Circe
The crotch tassel? Really? #Monsterdon
ha ha ha she's got a great ๏ผโ๏ฝโ๏ผface :D #Monsterdon
I take it back, it's not He-Man, it's Power Rangers. #Monsterdon
Oo, Thera needs Alka-Seltzer #Monsterdon
the sauceress #Monsterdon
Yeah, if I'd seen this when I was like eight or nine I would've thought it was the best thing ever. #Monsterdon
"HOLD STRONG HERCULES"
Be tough! We're making a Dune remake at the same time! #Monsterdon
So the egg can cast Tetra Magic, so what. #Monsterdon
"Can you at least take me NEAR Thera?"
I can drop you off at the bus station, sure. #Monsterdon
those crotch tassels really are throwing me off, trim those things girl #Monsterdon
Herc fucks around with hydrology again #Monsterdon
Lots of size play in this movie. #Monsterdon
Ha ha, King looking at the queen like, "Honey, I think we just found our unicorn" #Monsterdon
yeah yeah, falling in love depowers the woman, I'm not sure YOU understand the metaphor you're using here >_> #Monsterdon
"There's the chariot"
I have eyes, lady. #Monsterdon
Using magic to tie a half-hitch feels like a waste of claymation. #Monsterdon
bleugh #Monsterdon
This is "fan on a boat pointed at the sails" level physics here. #Monsterdon
So many incomprehensible things happened at once it's hard to pick one. #Monsterdon
Aaaand we have butt. #Monsterdon
I think some exposition just spilled all over us. #Monsterdon
And of course they kill her off, god this writing is embarrassing. #Monsterdon
That's the scene that got Lou the part on The Incredible Hulk. #Monsterdon
Oh, the tassels are a recovery unit, I stand corrected. #Monsterdon
Daedalus is really just Rita Repulsa. #Monsterdon
Cassiopea staring off into the middle distance like "hooray for socks"
Man, the princess's Frontal Bike Rack is really just, like, right there, huh. #Monsterdon
Seashell pasties, okay. Sure. Why not. #Monsterdon
King Minos is unable to finish a speech without consulting an AI. #Monsterdon
"I've no doubt, my dear."
After all, your front-butt is perky as ever. #Monsterdon
Lazarou Monkey Terror ๐๐๐@CactuarJoe definitely Fash
XanSteel@CactuarJoe Yes, very much so. xD
๐คRobot Enby Xero๐ค@CactuarJoe hulk predates this actually
David Zaslavsky@CactuarJoe yes I believe the gods are in fact to blame