ebolapieFeb 25

ADHD is not cute. [vent]

https://lemmy.world/post/43543729

ADHD is not cute. [vent] - Lemmy.World

ADHD is not a quirk. It is ruining my life. I am disorganized, I am in debt, I am paralyzed. I can’t even get help; I have tried navigating the maze of finding a doctor who will accept my crappy exchange insurance but I always end up throwing in the towel. I thought I found one, once, but sike, he’s an addiction counselor who refuses to prescribe stimulant medication on principle. Not that I’m opposed to trying nonstims again, but I was prescribed Strattera in high school and it made me so drowsy I failed chemistry because I couldn’t stay awake even with a full night of sleep. Also, bonus, his profile on the site I used to find him lied, and he doesn’t actually accept my insurance. Here’s a $500 bill for our 45 minute zoom call where I accused you of drug seeking. ADHD is ugly; ADHD looks like every chair in my apartment being full of clutter (and me subsequently freaking out because I hate clutter). it looks like brushing my teeth every two or three or five days. It looks like being able to hold on to my job as a waiter nothing else. It looks like me having the money to pay my bills, me wanting to pay those bills, and then me getting sent to collections anyway. ADHD looks like ghosting an old best friend because I’m too embarrassed to keep up with him. It looks like my partner shouldering more of the housework than is fair. And I get to look back on all this behavior, identify and accept that I am the problem, and then I get to do fuck all to fix it. ADHD looks like a horizon that gets narrower and narrower every day. And I feel alone. ADHD is not cute. It sucks to suck.

Show threadflabberjabber

Totally get this and it speaks to the inattentive me. You’re seen friend. ADHD is no superpower, it’s a neurodevelopmental disability. ADHD is the hidden disability that ruins the act of living in most conceivable ways.

Hey guess what though? I have it worse than you. Not that it’s a competition my friend. But lemme show you how much worse it can be:

On top of all of that, I have to some how navigate a brain that’s currently going through a prolonged SSRI taper. I don’t have the ability to feel empathy anymore due to these SSRI’s, I don’t feel joy, my ability to think is essentially gone, the logical and rational part of me is kind of suppressed as well. All because I was prescribed incorrectly by a doctor mistaking my ADHD for common run of the mill depression. I’m not even sure the taper will fix it, but I have no choice but invest four to five years of my life weaning myself off of this drug in the hope that it will fix it. What other choice do I have?

Also, I have a venous compression in my neck that raises the intracranial venous pressure so much that my brain gets squeezed.

Also I have obstructive sleep apnea that guarantees my sleep now involves starving my brain of oxygen and placing it into hypoxia and no matter what I try I can’t seem to resolve it.

And very recently, I’ve been given the gift of hydrogen sulphide SIBO (which is neurotoxic).

Essentially I have ADHD like always have had, but I now have multiple different kinds of brain injury on top of it. But at least I can’t see just how fucked my life is like I used to be able to. The haze, the fog, whilst frustrating, is also comforting ignorance.

Feb 26 at 2:35pmWeb