PugJesusGO, CALIGULA! DEFEAT THE OCEANS ONCE AND FOR ALL
https://piefed.social/c/historymemes/p/1818161/go-caligula-defeat-the-oceans-once-and-for-all
Explanation: The Roman Emperor Caligula, sometimes said to have been mad, once ordered his troops to ‘make war’ on Neptune, stabbing the tides and collecting seashells as war booty. This may have been meant as humiliation for the troops rather than a genuine delusion of warring against the sea.
CALIGULA IS BACK TO CARRY ON THE FIGHT AGAINST THAT SALTY BASTARD, NEPTUNE
fakeman_pretendnameDid they get paid the same for a day of stabbing the sea and picking up seashells, as they did for traveling across a treacherous sea, marching to a distant land in an inhospitable climate and engaging in war where they may die?
If so, a bit of the old “splish-splash, stabby-stabby, ooh-what-a-nice-shell” doesn’t sound too bad to me.
“Emperor, using this miniature spade, and an upturned bucket, I have built this small fortification out of wet sand, to defend us from Neptune’s tides”
“I have decorated the fortification with seashells to intimidate Neptune”
Yes and no.
Yes in that the base pay of a legionary doesn’t change on garrison, on campaign, or stabbing the sea.
No in that legionaries were often eager to go to war because (organized, systemic, redistributed) looting was part of the legionary’s pay package.
Also no in that Caligula is putting mad wear and tear on your gear with that salt water, and while the Empire supplies your equipment, it’s deducted out of your pay.
Thank you for giving a detailed and serious answer to my silly question :)
I’ll admit, it doesn’t sound quite as nice with the extra information, but I’m still relatively in favour of a small war on Neptune, at least for a little while.