Mastodawn

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

I’m traveling from NH to MN today to meet some of the team at my new job. I’ve already done the first carpool leg and I’m onto the bus now! Airplane to come! Expected 10 more hours of joyful journeying. Buckle up and join me for a thread of observation, consternation, and transportation! 🚗 🚍 ✈️

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Already some Olympic-level hacking going on so I’ve masked up. I recently got somewhat laid off (better than being a little big pregnant), but I still rep my faculty union because they fought for us! Solidarity! Also swag!

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Just got my first ominous text saying to expect delays and cancellations as Boston Logan Airport digs out from two feet of snow from a giant blizzard. If you’re all lucky, this 10 hour trip could turn into 20!!! I have attached an avalanche beacon to my carryon and I am going for it.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Reader, I fear I may have to use the bus lavatory. I have ridden countless buses in my day and it’s never come to this. But the alternative seems potentially worse?

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Reader, I have returned. It was beyond what I could have imagined. A large plush lobby, snacks, and warm towels. You think the bus loo will be a tiny closet of hell, but trust me when I say it’s Narnia in there.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Ok I’m going to dig into my EMT course textbook podcast backlog. First chapter for today is on cardiac shock. (Yes I’m studying to be an EMT. It’s my hobby. Someone told me I needed a hobby.)

It’s Pearson textbook ($200+) and the accompanying podcast is two AI’s talking to each other, basically reading the textbook.

As you can imagine, my course instructor has had about enough of me and my “critiques.”

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Delayed by one hour so far! But the good news is SBARRO

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

The good news turned out to be very bad. And I am from rural New Hampshire and my pizza standards are accordingly very low.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

So far we have had three announced delays, but only a sum total of 1 hour delay. But I think there is some frog-boiling going on here.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Also there is a big pub called "Boston Bruins" right across from my gate. Seems odd that the pub is the exact name of the hockey team, but I will probably check it out since I assume it's where the queer people congregate. #HeatedAirport

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Lest you think I am just lounging around with the gay hockey players, you should know that I walked from gate A10 to A17 which means changing levels twice, two moving sidewalks, and about 1.3 miles of straightaway. AND THEN I KID YOU NOT THEY CHANGED ME BACK TO A10!!! Why don’t I just sit at the bar like a normal person?? Why does every minute in an airport in which I am not at my gate deduct like 45 minutes off my life span???

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

You should also know that I did this with a bad back! One month ago I had a serious injury while MAKING THE BED (yes I am that old) and it hasn’t been fixed yet despite my physical therapist’s stabbing me with electrically charged needles. I am on steroids to try to survive this trip. But apparently they are the steroids that make you pee a lot rather than the steroids that make you buff. So here I am running around the airport like a fit woman which I am not. Ok let me correct that. I am running around like an unfit woman with a bad back who has to pee.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

The end of this EMT textbook chapter is about how to recognize when someone is sooooo dead, you don’t have to try to resuscitate them. They actually say that we should not do cpr on a decapitated patient. I have concern for students who needed to read that in a textbook.

Sorry if this is too graphic for a cute travel thread. But I’m like one step away from being a main character on The Pitt so it’s to be expected.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Some members of the flight crew have shown up and are waiting with us. People are looking at them desperately like maybe they are prophets sent from another land who might carry news about where our plane is.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Somehow the energy at this gate feels like when everyone is listening hard for the first tremor of the sandworms in Dune.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

Except there is a Dunkins here in the desert for some reason

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

The woman next to me is dressed the way anyone in a Boston blizzard dresses when they’re about to get on a plane to Minneapolis.

Robin DeRosa Feb 24

I was wondering how to work a Don DeLillo scene into this thread. Well the universe just delivered:

Man, to gate agent, “We are connecting on our way to Portugal.”

Man’s wife: “We are going to Puerto Rico.”

Man: “…”

Nate Angell Feb 24

@actualham in their defense, Minneapolis is not a direct path to either Portugal or Puerto Rico from Boston...

@xolotl pretty sure they were also not supposed to be at that gate

Nate Angell Feb 24

@actualham given all that, prob better that they go to PR to keep it simpler by staying in the USA. Portugal might be something to aspire to one day...