BeepI am a 15-year-old girl. Let me show you the vile misogyny that confronts me on social media every day
ilinamoratothe politicians debating online abuse mean well
Let me stop you there
Eager EagleI’d give her a pass for being 15
That’s fair. She’ll get it.
The politicians debating online abuse claim to mean well.
NEVER use social media that requires your personal information. Try not to use it at all.
This is a voluntary social disease. It’s not necessary.
🇦🇺𝕄𝕦𝕟𝕥𝕖𝕕𝕔𝕣𝕠𝕔𝕠𝕕𝕚𝕝𝕖The problem is if everyone uses it then it creates great pressure for others to also use it. I try to avoid it as best I can and prefer to only use platform where I can post under a variety of names without hard links to my real identity.
LordDaveTheKindYou cannot ask a 15 year old for that. They are subject to peer pressure. The only way is to forbid or restrict the access to Social Media to minors. The real question is: who must do it?
Forbid this, forbid that… How about actual fucking parenting instead? As a “zoomer” who used to use antisocial media back when I was 15 but didn’t end up encountering all this objectification crap 'til much later on in life despite being having better computer skills than my parents, let me testify that having hobbies helps. And most of my hobbies developed with considerable help from my parents whom I was able to ask for help/advice.
You cannot compare with someone in their 15 today: average time spent with families is decreasing, and the average time that teenagers spend in touch with their peers (not necessarily in person, but also via IM) is increasing, and therefore also the peer pressure. Also, what about those kids with absent parents? What about those kids with toxic or incompetent parents?
Sure, I agree with anyone who says that kids should be guided and assisted on social media in the right environments, or in a way to find the right spaces to express themselves (with hobbies, sports, group activities, whatever), and I’ll vote for anyone who could do anything on that purpose. But we can also imagine flying cars at this point.
MulligrubsShe doesn’t know the half of it. She’s a good kid
In no way discounting her experience, but it’s almost like she’s a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman’s perspective.
It’s a cruel reality, and without having to do a battle of the sexes comparison, everybody gets this bullshit, regardless of gender identity or sex.
Ever been a man and walked into a woman’s online space and see the bullshit that goes on there, the horrible accusations, derogatory dialogue? Ever been falsely accused of sexual impropriety by a woman who’s just looking to hold power?
People are assholes, and when you go on a platform filled with assholes, they’re going to be assholes. Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.
MontaggeEver been a man and walked into a woman’s online space
Yes, and it’s miles better than most men’s online spaces
NostraDavidGot anything to back that up, other than “that’s how I feel about it” or nah?
inner thoughtsI know you likely don’t, but maybe you’ll surprise me.
I might be wrong but it just seems like you stopped short of saying “not all men”. Did you forget that bit?
I would encourage you to read what is said and try to understand it, versus taking this tired, feeble, accusatory approach.
Solution, stop going to those places and live in the real world.
Agreed with you until this point. You realize the people online are the same people from real life, right?
That’s not how it works, perhaps you might want to close your apps for a few weeks and live in the real world and then you will realize it is nothing like the online spaces.
Chloé 🥕it’s almost like she’s a woman and not a man and she sees things from the woman’s perspective.
yeah right, how dare she!!! the audacity of females these days, talking about their problems. unbelievable!!!
you’re no better than the shitheads this article is about. fuck you and your “both sides” nonsense.
Fuck you, for calling her a female, you sexist piece of shit!
Fizz
capt_kafeiPresumably because all of her friends do, and if she quits using it, then she’ll be left out of her friends’ group chats on IG and be out of the loop on jokes and memes between her friends. Might seem unimportant to an adult, but devastating for a teenager.
Your comment is similar to saying “cyberbullying isn’t real, just turn off the PC”. Because getting pushed out of social spaces on the internet leaves kids feeling isolated, and deprives them of access to shared spaces that their friends use to connect with each other.
One might say “They can just connect in person!” Presumably they do, but the internet is an inescapable part of modern life and that is unlikely to change. We should push for a better internet, rather than telling people to simply stop using it if they’re suffering.
But what’s the cost of them being forced to use these online spaces to connect? Is it greater or less than the cost of not using them at all? Seems to me the balance is going farther and farther to the side of using them being worse than not every day. Body shaming, predators, addiction. We didn’t let kids smoke because it increased their social circle did we?
I don’t think kids should be “forced” to use social media to connect. I was trying to say that the current reality is that kids rely heavily on the internet for social connection, whether we like it or not, and telling kids to “just stop using it” is not going to help those that are struggling.
I think there is a need for better government regulation to make social media a healthier place for both kids and adults, but I’m not yet sure what the best implementation of that should look like. Leaving age verification to private companies has already resulted in damaging data breaches and will continue to do so.
Many people advocate for a social media ban for kids under 16, but the predictably imperfect implementation of that means that some kids can easily bypass facial verification and continue using social media, while others cannot and get excluded. I’m reminded of a quote from this article:
One parent told the Guardian their 15-year-old daughter was “very distressed” because “all her 14 to 15-year-old friends have been age verified as 18 by Snapchat”. Since she had been identified as under 16, they feared “her friends will keep using Snapchat to talk and organise social events and she will be left out”.
We need a way to regulate social media that is both privacy-preserving and also avoids excluding or isolating kids. Maybe some kind of ban for under 16s is the right path, but at a minimum, it needs secure identity verification provided as a service by the government, where your identifying information is never visible to the private companies running the platforms. Because they will fuck it up or abuse it.
Maybe instead of a full ban, we should instead ban advertising targeting youth, and ban algorithmic feeds & suggested content for kids. Make it so teens can only see posts from people they follow, in chronological order, so they eventually run out of new things to see and close the app for the day.
we should instead ban advertising
This is the solution. If companies cannot profit off of their platforms, they will not have them any longer. Literally just ban all advertising. Amend all free-speech laws in all countries to define speech as rights of individual citizens, with corporations explicitly excluded.
Where advertising does exist, for example a phone book, it should be factual and pertinent to the product, not a big titty model or sad puppy dog trying to tap into people’s caveman brain. I imagine more of a product registry, maybe even with a model of every registered device made available at a library of things so you can try before you buy. What do we as consumers benefit from having our product research obscured by catchy tunes and manipulation tactics?
On a similar note, I think we should end all loyalty programs. In addition to privacy concerns, they obscure the actual cost of a good by making it dependent on previous purchases and sometimes by giving prices in points rather than currency. How can I know whether my Kroger or Walgreen’s points will result in better long term deals. It’s intentionally complicated so I as the consumer can’t make an informed decision.
The day they offer an ad free experience with chronological feeds, all us Millenials will be saying we were born in 2010. :-D That’s all I want from my social media. I agree on the advertising point; getting at kids to get the parents to spend money is evil. If we don’t already have them, every school should now have a class on recognizing AI, social media vs. reality, and advertising tactics. Kids should know the playbook so they don’t get sucked in like a boomer watching QVC.
XiELEdI used to be bullied hard in elementary for being neurodivergent and “living under a rock”, and I did not know what was cool or uncool because I didn’t have WiFi at home. To illustrate how ridiculous it was, I got bullied for playing Minecraft to the point that if I left my redstone blueprints on my table they would crumple it, and whenever I ate vegetables they would say, “ew vegetables!!!”.
That sounds terrible. I’m sorry you were treated so badly.
This article is to push legislation to kick her off. She is saying “it would be a good thing for under 16s to be banned from social media”. So I think saying why do you feel this way but continue to engage is a fair point.
This is not the average experience so instead of everyone being punished it should be addressed on an individual level. Plenty of people have a healthy relationship with it.
This article is to push legislation to kick her off
Her and all her friends.
And the article was written by a man.
zarkanianThis absolutely is the average experience for young women on social media, and moreover it’s the intended experience. Making girls feel like shit about themselves has gotten powerful men money, sex, and more power for a very very long time.
How about using just the chat feature or maybe watching her friends stories and posts, instead of doom scrolling reels from strangers? It’s not hard myself. But perhaps it’s harder if you spend your entire day on your phone hopping between various doom scroll brainrotting apps.
I heard a comedian once compare the Internet to driving in traffic. A lot of people in the Internet treat each other like crap. I would argue that it’s even promoted on some platforms. I don’t see this changing.
the politicians debating online abuse mean well
Hard disagree.
I feel bad for my indian nieces, they get the worst of all worlds on the internet, think they stick to roblox tho no social media for them
roblox tho no social media for them
Oh boy… in sorry to be the one to point this out. Roblox is a problem.
I have a small tight group of guys and gals I occasionally play online games with and I seldom play games where I’m matched up with strangers. It’s not worth it.
As soon as they hear you are a chick… Most usually start with the low hanging fruit “You fat and ugly”
Although one time some guy kept saying I was probably old. Like 40. With 2 kids. I thought that was slightly more creative. But still basic.
I am 40 actually. But I don’t have kids and told him No crotch goblins for me. They might end up like him.
Then told him I could tell he was nervous cause his voice was shakey. Asked him if this was his first time talking to a female.
Then I blocked him and left the game so he could do any come back.
KissakiIt’s really sad how prevalent it is.
I think it depends a lot on the games, communities, and moderation, though.
In my games, at least, I wouldn’t say I see much toxicity, even when it can feel different because of its impact. When I do see toxicity, I consistently report and block.
In all my years, I think I can count misogyny in my games (towards others I overhear) on one hand. Which, of course, doesn’t invalidate those who have different experiences. Many women choose not to talk at all because of these issues, which makes it less likely for other people to experience and see such occurrences.
I find more recent developments interesting where people can change their voice to male and female, which allows people to talk with their voice, but not be identifiable as one or the other. Hopefully it can enable people and make them more comfortable.
Ive also encountered misogynist comments directed at male friends who play games with me.
On a few occasions I’ve had my best guy pal I play with be bombarded with comments about how he’s a simp if he helps me in any way in the game.
I told this guy friend I was mad for him. He said he just ignores it but. It’s pretty shitty.
Being cooperative doesn’t make him a simp. We like playing games together cause we have a fun dynamic. I kinda hated that other men were trying to make him feel bad about it.
Mysoginist men really try to enforce other men to bend to their rules just as much as they harass women.
MimicJarInteresting article and I think it really highlights how toxic some parts of the Internet are. My only issue is the conclusion,
A social media ban for under-16s might prevent young boys seeing endless content that treats women with contempt and hate. Boys at this age are very susceptible to the cool and funny framing of what is, in reality, relentless misogyny. A ban might not fix the problem, but it would help. If society can’t stop it, it can show it disapproves.
Emphasis mine. Having grown up in a different era I can confirm that boys of a wide variety of ages, including much older “boys”, can also be scumbags. Even if we had the perfect technology to ban under-16s from social media, once they hit 16 they’d still be exposed to it, still become terrible people, and the author of this article, although a but older, would still see it. I don’t know if that really is a better world, just a slightly delayed one.
I don’t know the solution, but I remember reading once that some online game would put all the reported and abusive players into a special category where they would be forced to play only with each other. Maybe we can do that in this case.
I kind of feel like social media already does put toxic people together and that has lead them to compete on how toxic they can be. I don’t think forcing gross people into communities with a bunch of people who think the same way helps at all. Being seperated from that and seeing more perspectives seems better.
You’re right that putting people in bubbles is probably one way some of these things get worse. If all you see is toxic, toxic is the norm, now you’re always toxic.
Maybe they can tricked.
Although really what we’re talking about is the algorithm that currently exists being focused on highlighting terrible people doing terrible things. Can we turn that same algorithm around and use it for good?
Personally I think we should get rid of the algorithms all together and go back to timeline with only people you follow, but I also just looked outside and there are no flying pigs.
I am not sure if the algorithm is particularly evil or just uncaring and optimizing for engagement. An algorithm that specifically tried to keep you out of bubbles would be interesting, but there is the question if people would enjoy using it enough for it to do any good or for companies to want to use it without being forced to.
I try to do my best to stay away from algorithms lately. I think being more intentional about it helps me, but perhaps that doesn’t work for some people. I think we need to figure something out though because the effects are obviously pretty bad.
An algorithm that actively attempts to keep me out of bubbles sounds like an algorithm that ensures I keep seeing bigoted opinions about people like me. I do think that there can be decent uses of algorithms, but I don’t think that corporate social media is going to provide it.
I also think we have a serious problem of a lot of people want the algorithm. It’s extremely habit forming and mindless. Hell I much preferred it back in the early days to having to find new websites and all that. It just came with a massive price I wouldn’t’ve paid had I known.
Read a bit into this. That’s not how teens write.
Wordmark@Beep #theguardian https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2026/feb/23/15-year-old-girl-misogyny-social-media-online-abuse its a #nonsustainable #society problem, #happy people do not have to hurt others to feel powerful
😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈Fuck Reddit and Fuck Spez.
“Bop” stands for “been over passed”
No, it’s not. It means “a good song”.
Nothing on UrbanDictionary, nothing on even Google. What is this nonsense?
Sexual equality has ceased to exist online.
It never existed in the first place, so there’s that.
Anyway, yeah, internet bad. Time to ban all sub-16 children from Social Media. It’s been long overdue.
There’s two definitions on the first page of the UrbanDictionary page for “bop” that refer to promiscuity from women. They’re from 2005 and 2008. I don’t know about the alleged acronym, but I’ve seen the use of “bop” to mean “slut” for years.