To not sound like a creepy old guy, start by not being one.

“Attractive woman. 30-ish”

“Nice lady”

“pretty distracting”

“Continue eyes up!”

Like wtf, you are being so creepy about a fucking zipper! Even as I’m writing that I feel like your first defense would be something creepy like “I’m just a man, I can’t help feeling like that” or similar.

Man, it’s just a random person with a zipper open. She wasn’t flirting. If you were happily married you wouldn’t go drooling as soon as you see a woman with a zipper open just because she’s younger and “attractive” as if she’s nothing but a piece of meat.

You wouldn’t have felt so awkward if she was “ugly”, older, or a man; it’s quite clear from your description. The reason for that is that you are a creepy old dude.

And now all the sex obsessed creeps that feel targeted are going to downvote this because they feel offended.

I’m curious what the female / non-binary version of this is, because being distracted by someone’s attractiveness in an inappropriate context and trying to navigate the situation and/or think about something more appropriate is relatable to me.

One thing that has helped me is, “the thoughts that enter your mind come from all over: society, media, your experiences, etc. You have to process a lot, and not all of it is nice. So don’t judge yourself based on the content of your thoughts, but on how you choose to act.”

This is the difference between responsible societies and victim-blaming ones. 

Talking about this is almost impossible in person though. How do you tell somebody that you have thoughts that make you feel uncomfortable with yourself, and would like to have them less? Therapy is only 1 hour a week…