"texting a message used to take a time approximately proportional to the sum of the alphabetical indices of the message's characters modulo 3" is one of those things that is absolutely true but also 100% sounds like a shitpost if you weren't around for that era.
@gsuberland
Japanese input on a smartphone usually involves "flicking" on a twelve-key pad that looks like an old fashioned pushbutton phone keypad. You select the correct consonant by tapping a key, then immediately flicking your thumb in the correct direction to choose the vowel. Most Japanese today do this very quickly without even thinking. But in the old pushbutton days, you would tap repeatedly to choose your vowel. But my bestie can't flick, so she still taps furiously like it's 1999.