The bloat is coming from inside the house!
How so? I want KDE to remember that certain programs should only open on certain screens
KDE has been able to do this for a long time.
System Settings --> Window Management --> Window Rules
Or, right click on the title bar of the window you want to make a rule for --> more aptions --> configure special window settings
From there, you can create a rule that forces a certain program to open its window at a certain location. And you can specify that location to be on the screen you want it to be on.