Her: "I bought a sex-club bowling shirt from fashion brand company"

Me: "you're never going to wear that shirt because I am going to immediately steal it from you"

Her "don't you want to know what it looks li-"

Me: "no. I do not need to see it to know that I'm taking it, based entirely on your description alone."

Update: I saw it, and I'm absolutely boosting it as soon as the package arrives. We're running away together, that shirt and I are going to be madly in love, live in the woods and have babies, and there's nothing that you or God can do to stop us.