My favourite piece of internet today is the theory that Jesus was actually a type of yeast.
Turns water into wine
Floats on water
Makes bread for 5000 people
Put in a cave for 3 days and lo - he has risen!
Jesus was a sourdough starter.
Also this would imply: We should be calling him 'Mother' not 'Father'
Heals people => penicillin
Oh my, that explains everything!
Jesus was a type of Yeast, confirmed
Edit: Oh and also explains why eating his flesh and blood are bread and wine, too.
Well the bible is just a collection of (what the church considered to be) important scriptures.
And well, what was the most important for the longest of human history that you could use any piece of advice on in existance?
Well, how to survive and not die. For which making food (that doesn't make you sick) is one of the most important parts.
The bible does contain a lot of great (but dated, always keep that in mind) advice on how to survive and how to go through life.
It even contains advice for how to deal with pandemics. Like it even quite literally tells you to wash your hands, stay away from the group when you're sick, shout "unclean unclean" when you're getting closer so others can keep their distance to you, mark the homes of those that are sick so that you can stay clear, BUT also to not let you die..
and help you get your basic needs met. And obviously as doctors haven't been around back then and the church had the monopoly on "healthcare" back then it also mentions that before you're allowed to get back into society a priest has to announce you as "clean again" aka. healthy.
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