I’m on Lemmy (db0) because, at the time, I thought PieFed was just another instance, and I chose the instance I liked best without much thought behind what software it ran.
db0 has talked about spinning up a PieFed instance, but I would have to join it and I’d have two accounts. I’m not sure I want to manage two accounts. AFAIK they are not talking about converting to PieFed (if such a thing is possible).
On the tech side, the two mostly federate with one another. I (maybe mistakenly) called out a PieFed user for not posting a link. They thought they did. And they did — it was visible on PieFed, but it was not visible to Lemmy. So they apologised and posted the link in the body of their text, and I apologised for not understanding how things worked. So that is an issue Lemmy (the people who make the software) would have to address, and then db0 would have to update the code on their server (I believe).
So I think as long as they continue to federate to one another, it’s fine to just use what you want. If one starts to pull ahead and the other is not catching up, it might be wise to switch, especially if there is a way to pull all your subscriptions, blocks, and managed communities from one to the other.
I have no idea about the ethics of using either.