Let me teach you a thing: “have” can be “'ve” if it is an auxiliary verb. Ta-daah.

I can’t help you or your fucky language with “'m” or “'s” or “'re”.

So’ve you thought about this before?

Unfortunately I’ve studied English at uni thinking it might’ve in some capacity become useful by now. Alas, so far I’ve’d no opportunity to use the nonsense I’ve learnt other than to shitpost about it. Woe’m’st’ve’d is me.