I always have music on because I just can’t stand silence. On my phone (and the last two… ) Pandora crashes around once per song, so I’ve reluctantly started using Spotify, though I have now learned they’re evil. I’m looking into alternatives.

Until recently, I hadn’t heard anything I recognized as AI (which admittedly doesn’t mean much; I frequently miss even obvious AI). My guess was that this was because I mostly listened to stations focused on artists I knew.

Eventually, I ran out of artists I knew and cared to hear and tried “recommended songs” playlists. I started to hear “Beats by AI” songs. This initially mostly happened while I was falling asleep or waking up, so I didn’t pay much attention. Once or twice, I thought “this doesn’t sound like Weird Al” then fell asleep.

But then one recent night, a fellow lemming was kindly chatting to me in the middle of the night when several of these songs came on in a row. I was listening to country at the time and holy crap were every single one of them horny! This was my favorite.

Other AI songs I heard included the singer talking about how his penis was alarmingly (like genuinely, it said it would scare the hypothetical woman) small and another (theoretically) male singer saying that he wouldn’t sleep with a woman because he has a big penis and she has a small vagina.

My second favorite (about when I actually started paying attention):

Have you ever been fucked, fucked, fucked by a country boy? Rammed, rammed, rammed by redneck? Spread, spread, spread by an inbred who’s kind of got your daddy’s voice?

Talk about enticing.