I live in the midwest and collect old cookbooks. Every “salad” section is about half recipes comprised of mixed vegetables and the like, and half recipes that sound like someone took all the desserts in their house and mixed them in a big bowl with some whipped cream and jello.

Be glad. I have my grandmother’s cookbooks. She had one, that I only keep for proof, comprised entirely of mayonnaise recipes. I think it was published by Hellmans. It is full of some of the worst atrocities to food I have ever read about.

I know I don’t really like everything I’m served, but I swear this cookbook is like for a black-site prisoner encampment that gets deliveries twice a year.