A good while back, when I was in a really dark place, someone on Fedi paid me a nice compliment that made my day. I saved it.
I've been saving them ever since—every time someone's compliment makes my day better.
I have hundreds now.
All these little snapshots of kindness.
I look at them when I'm feeling down and having intrusive thoughts sometimes—they always make me feel better about the world, and about myself.
I never had enough self-worth for compliments to even register. All my life I've argued against compliments when they were offered; it took me decades to recognize what I was doing and why. Eventually I started trying to force myself to fake appreciation and avoid hurting feelings - does that count as masking? - but internally I was still arguing and rejecting. I even do it with my wife. I don't know what substitute could lift my mood.
🅰🅻🅸🅲🅴 (🌈🦄)
VulcanTourist