BTW the way refunds work is that steam withholds the money for a month to pay refunds with it. The publisher has no say, they just get gross - 30% - VAT - refunds.
Is this supposed to be a negative?

Well the op said it was out of their own pockets, this is saying that op’s claim is fake.

The fact that you immediately got weirdly defensive about it tells me you think it’s a negative.

How was I being “weirdly defensive”?
Tone in text is an exercise for the reader if it wasn’t an exercise for the author.