Dear OSS community on Mastodon,

Every day I scroll through my feed and I see proud announcements like:

“First Alpha Relase of HyperTurboWidget available"

or

“Version 2.7.1 now with improved glorb handlers!”

or

“Flux Capacitor version 4.5 is out”

… and I sit there wondering if I should be excited, terrified, or calling a licensed electrician.

Don’t get me wrong, I love open source. I just have no idea what three quarters of these projects actually do. Are we talking about a web server? A file system? A middleware thingy that keeps the flux from overflowing into the space–time continuum?

So, dear OSS developers of the world: When you announce a new release, please give us (your adoring but slightly confused audience) just a tiny bit of context.

  • Tell us what your software does.
  • Tell us why this release is cool.
  • Tell us what it requires to work.

Example:

We are proud to announce Flux Capacitor version 4.5 is now avalaible. While it creates a nice wormhole to 1955, it requires an underlying gigawatt stack 1.21 to work reliably.

Because nobody wants to cheer enthusiastically for “v2.7.1” while secretly Googling “what is a glorb and why does it need handling”.

Yours truly,

Someone who wants to celebrate your achievements

Rockwell Retro Encabulator

YouTube
@Galley That must be the universal announcement boiler plate 😁
@masek @Galley IMO the funniest part is that there are multiple versions of this video from different companies. 🤣

@pawv @masek @Galley

You have to watch out for that sinusoidal depleneration of your fumbling lunar waneshafts.

There's a whole subreddit riffing on the joke (/r/vxjunkies).. bit like fight club noone is allowed to explain the joke . The TurboEncaubulator goes back to the 30s/40s if I recall, and the first video rendition was done by an educational GMC film crew: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ac7G7xOG2Ag

"Turbo Encabulator" the Original

YouTube
@tezoatlipoca @masek @Galley lol, that reminds of (I think) the programming language Songbird. Has an open specification that takes PR's for hypothetical language features that almost sound good, but end up being jokes or puns.