Mastodawn

how to keep doing something?

how to keep doing something? - Lemmy.World

there’s a million different strategies on how to function well with adhd, and some of them even work. but every single time i encounter the same problem - even if something works and improves my quality of life it’s always short lived. i get distracted or something happens that throws me off the rhythm and then- i can’t restart. so now i have a mental library of all those tactics that work and very little motivation to try again, it’s going to last a week maybe, and then back to being a mess i go. is there any way to work against that? any point of view i failed to consider? any tactic that is designed to stick? or just something that doesn’t work on an assumption that you need to do it consistently for it to work? (and then feel like a failure once you inevitably stop doing it) all the tips and tricks i googled fail at this step, no book on adhd that i’ve read highlights this problem, this can’t be just me right? i’m just so tired

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ℕ𝕖𝕞𝕠 Dec 5

The bullet journal system is nice because it doesn’t depend on consistency. There’s no overhead, it’s just a way of writing things down, so you only need a cheap pen and cheap notebook. Even if you lose them, just grab another. If you forget to use it for three month, the bujo doesn’t care. It’s there for you to use again when you remember.

If you look online you’ll see lots of people who plan their whole year out and call it a bullet journal. But that’s something they’ve built on top of a very dimple, elegant system, not the system itself. Don’t do that shit, it doesn’t work for people like us. Garbage notebook, garbage pen, bulleted lists, migration. Keep it simple.

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AddLemmus Dec 7

Not sure if just trying more methods will help you, but here are some that happen to consistently work for me:

Always work with a list.
When everything seems overwhelming and I can’t get myself to start, just pick ONE item from the list.
If there is no list, just making the list will do. It may be empty. Done for now, enough, no need to start on it yet.
Granular items.
- Instead of “pack suitcase”, break it down like “get suitcase out”.
- Split the task of “read X” and “understand X”. That stops obstructive thoughts like “I wouldn’t understand it anyway, and then I’d need to as … but can’t right now because …”.
The only new breakthrough from this year: When even doing one item from the list feels like too much, only simulate doing them in your head: lemmy.ml/post/36147982
I have a section of “structural improvements”. Those are things that, once done, improve my life, forever. E. g. getting this diagnosis. Getting a dishwasher. Getting a maid. Unlike, for example, clean the kitchen, which is temporary.
implementation intention: Might feel overwhelming to “stop browsing right now”, but set a timer to stop in 5 minutes. Or “when the timer finishes, I’ll do the simulations on list items”.

Real habit building still does not work for me, though, even with a specialist therapist. That’d be the real deal.

Working method to get things started based on Rubicon model - Lemmy

I have used many methods in my life, couldn’t get enough of finding and trying more and more. And some worked, even pre-diagnosis. But here is a new one that I just found recently after watching Dr. K. here [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=II8Q1A5Xgrg], and reading about Rubicon model [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rubicon_model] in more detail. When to use - Already got a todo-list - hard time getting started General idea Create internal motivation, rather than the pain of being driven by external motivation, such as deadlines or hunger. How to do it - Take the todo-list - Look at each of the items for 30 seconds and run a “simulation” in your mind: What would it be like to start that now, what would be the effort/pain, and the short-term gain. Short-term gain is not when it is all done, but a few steps in. E. g. what it feels like when I just put the first piece of laundry into the machine. I even write notes about the “simulation”. - Then pick one, IF you really feel like it. Otherwise, back to your shows & Lemmy - have fun! Example Initial list: - shopping - laundry - cleaning - online form List after “simulation” phase: - shopping - get up from comfy chair - away from tea & cookies - shoes, bag - outside in the rain - at least would be on the way - probably a no - laundry - get up - some spread around, collect - might just not do that one - pretty low effort, - feeling ok about it - cleaning - do I even have the cleaner - probably better after shopping - nah, let’s not - online form - at least not getting up - one hell of an annoyance though - show could keep playing - might take 10 minutes - could do Based on that, I’d pick the online form task and go. It’s weird, it makes no sense, but it works! This weekend, I got 6 out of the 10 things done I was supposed to do (better than 0, right?), but getting started required no discipline or pain. I just wanted to after doing the “simulations”. Other semi-successful weekends, I had to force myself to do at least the ones that create the most pain when not done, and it hurt.

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Acklavidian Dec 10

Making something so routine that you don’t think about it. Like getting ready for work. Build it into your life. Make it a distraction. Get rid of start up barriers that make it difficult to get started. Make it to where you don’t expect to reach the goal. Put all the distractions together so you can switch between them seamlessly. Lean in to the ADHD. Make it so that once you reach your goal your not only surprised but also kinda sad it’s over.