Mastodawn

da_cow (she/her)

Oh my fucking good, estrogen feels amazing

https://feddit.org/post/22169549

Oh my fucking good, estrogen feels amazing - feddit.org

So as some of you probably seen, I finally started HRT and I am absolutely loving it. I am doing some higher doses for the beginning to get my levels up fast (5mg every 3 days for 9 days and then 5mg every 7 days) and I am starting to feel the first emotional changes happening. I am feeling my inner girl without drugs for the first time in my life. I have never experienced this level of joy and happiness before. The level of Euphoria just looking at my beautiful nails gives me is insane. Im also currently at the edge of crying just from listening to some music. It feels absolutely fantastic. I did knew roughly what HRT would bring me emotionally, but not even in my wildest dreams could I have Imagined this level of Euphoria and happiness. Theres no realy way to put this into words without repeating myself a million times. Anyway, I wish all of you girlies a wonderfull day and for all of my sisters out there struggling with dysphoria and waiting for HRT: Stay strong, it gets better 💖🫂

WoodScientist Nov 26

Congrats sister! Let the estrogen flow through you!

Fantastic - so happy for you. And it’s lovely you’re giving encouragement and inspiration to those waiting for HRT

When I started I definitely felt different emotionally. I was way more calm and relaxed and emotionally stable personally. However at about the 6 month mark, I do a lower dose btw and aim for a very typical female range, I really started to notice some of the deeper epigenetic changes starting to take place. A bit after 6 months my body hair slowed its growth significantly. My facial hair a bit, and boobs started to appear. I actually noticed a bit of extra butt first, something I liked. I was losing a little hope about my body hair and then It happened pretty quick.

To me it seemed like the personality stuff came on fairly hard from the first day I took it. It took a bit before I started noticing changes in my shape.

So if you are wondering what to expect, I would say,

1st day - personality and emotional changes. Mine was very positive. Lower blood pressure maybe a bit of light headedness. Slight changes in my digestion and stomach ph.

Month 1 - month 4 - skin changes, losing a bit of strength, energy levels becoming more stable then I was used to on guy hormones. Quite mind, comfortable and happy and warm. Body’s biosphere is adjusting to new PH. Slight feminization of face due to softer muscle tension and clearer and softer skin. Nipples are very sensitive and I lost most of my male sexual desire. Start to find guys a bit cuter then I normally do.

Month 6 - noticing fat distribution changes. Stomach is smaller for same weight, by this point I had lost a fair bit of mass in my shoulder and neck area, started to get the first signs of actual breasts, have to be careful what shirt I wear if I’m guy moding. Stomach is smaller, thighs are getting a bit thicker, and pants fit tighter. I have a butt now! Not noticable but cute.

Now I’m around month 7-8. I had a bit of a depressive period cuz I was freaking out a little about the boobs. I was hoping I’d be able to hide it a little longer. Still I’m very happy and got over it. Instill know I want to do it now no matter what comes of it. It’s how I want to live.

I have enjoyed watching the changes because I have an interest in biology. I also like to tell others what they might can expect.

birdwing Nov 27

Interesting, for me the changes were slightly different.

Day 1 - mostly mental happiness, intense feeling of relief. (Still get a little of that everytime I take E).

1 week - felt calmer, a bit more happy

2 weeks - skin started to soften

1 month - energy levels more stable as well.

2 months - nipple soreness, started growing fat there a little.

3-5 months: very gradual change, hairs started being less overt, boob growth started and is pretty slow. Voice felt a little easier to keep high. Hip pain (I should technically be too old to experience pelvic widening, but that I got this, gives me hope, yay).

6 months - I felt like I looked more feminine there than now somehow. But that might be me. Still only look gals, but felt less of a disdain for guys.

7-8 months - face now starting to feminise much more. Fat is higher up the face. Started bumping into doors much easier. The gravity change of your fat distribution hits really - on your walk style as well, and I didn’t adapt immediately to that .

That’s amazing to read those transformation. I’m a cis male, but I’m curious about the experience of being a woman. Reading these stories reveal the difference of experience. Incredible that the hormones have so much power on our body and mind!

Do you think that the happiness and overall fell good and relief is from the molecule or from the gender dysphoria resolving?

Very happy to read your positive experiences and wish all of you girl the best!

birdwing Nov 27

The initial happiness (first two weeks) is mainly from euphoria - knowing it’ll improve from now on, is a huge thing.

I think for a cis guy a slightly stereotypic parallel might be if you felt somewhat blue during your teen life that you can’t quite grow a moustache yet. Or not looking like one of those muscular guys. But knowing you eventually can likely grow the moustache/muscles - that gives you happiness as something to look forward to.

And for a cis gal, it might be the mental dissatisfaction with one’s own body when on period (not to confuse with the physical period symptoms). I feel that that might be a similar thing to dysphoria, though of a more temporary nature.

But, the thing is that for us trans people, this dysphoria/euphoria feels significantly stronger. That’s often because all the time that we didn’t realise or were unable to transition, the body development and expression feels like going the wrong way. Like an everyday “ugh” feeling, not quite happy. And so - to give a crude example - when we finally get that sweet hormone, it’s like the mental trance relief you feel from finally being able to pee after a long movie.

After those initial weeks, the euphoria mostly strengthened as just a general feeling of being able to feel like your happiness isn’t faked - more genuine.

Some take HRT (hormone replacement therapy, ie. getting onto estrogen/testosterone), others don’t. Some don’t have surgery and others don’t change literal clothes but others do. Any of that is fine, the important thing is feeling happy and comfortable in your body. And I very much do now!

It varies, but I think the feeling of euphoria vs dysphoria I described is more or less similar to what others have.

Oh and, thank you! Yeah, the hormones have a massive influence on your body. Non-queer guys and gals often think it only tweaks a little here and there, but they do so much more.

You having thicker hair? More strength, oily skin and grip? Anger being easier to express? All testosterone, baby.

Softer skin? Sadness easier to express? Boobs and hips, butt, rounder face? Harder to grasp jars? Period?[1] Estrogen.

[1] they’re basically like stomach nausea but feel to be down around where your pee bladder is. And also sometimes like a hand is grasping the area tighter (without feeling like you need to go). This is because periods affect not just the uterus, but also the area a little around.

I loved reading that. Thank you! I totally get the walking into doors stuff that happened pretty much immediately for me. Our experiences are highly similar.

birdwing Nov 27

Tbf I planned on writing in a diary for my transition to look back on, but I forgot to do so. Did write many online notes though, so I’ll compile them together.

I have no idea what mine is, but Im a bit scared of boobs because I’m trying to pass as both. I’m a bit older and have a job and stuff, but I have been making moves to set me up for the future in case things go south.

Honestly the longer you take them the more affect you will see in everyway, so if something about the transition bothers you, just know that in a year it will be better.

My favorite and unexpected thing by far have been the changes to my mind. I never really considered it. It feels like a huge upgrade from the guy hormones. I feel so calm. I love it.

To me hrt was like DMT a bit as in, you really don’t realize what you are getting into until the moment you do it and it hits you. I realized that where drugs target a neurotransmitter system, this hormone was affecting not only every part of my body but also the epigenetic expression of probably nearly every protein in my body.

I kind of was a bit confused about the how trans am I really? thing… I felt like an imposter a bit. I knew it wasn’t a fetish because I have always felt like a girl on the inside but when I started it I realized that I really was a woman. On a deep biological level. Not just in my personality and my style preferences, and in the people I admired, and the way I acted without a filter, but like the deep alignment i felt the day I put estrogen in my body. I realized quickly that I wasn’t faking it. That I really was a woman because for the first time in my life I felt and acted normal. My brain just worked. My energy was stable, as my emotions were as well. I felt good. Complacent. Beautiful.

Idk I’m glad you found yourself. I hope I can make friends in the future in my local area. I’m basically reliving entire phases of my life rn trying to just be myself and be normal like I never could do earlier. I’m glad there are millions of trans people now. People used to misunderstand us more but I think the future will be positive, and this time when the anti gay angle does I don’t think it will come back again.

Another cool thought. People think we are weird but I actually think we are the normal ones. I think we are normal humans. I think humans are just fluid and andro typically and are like geysers of pure creativity and form and individual art. I think humans are supposed to not care about their gender and gender was never really meant to be anything other than different sexual organs and personality and stuff. Guys were always meant to be cute and girls were meant to just be less intense versions of cute guys. Idk tho.

birdwing Nov 28

I hear ya, I had the same fears and wanted to make the transition as smooth as possible.

You’ll never know how fast and how your body will change on transition. The best indicators are your siblings and parents, after that niblings, auncles and first cousins.

What I did was start in spring (mostly coincidence, but a good one). That helped because by the time the changes would be more visible, fall was at the door, and so I could hide it with thicker clothes.

But otherwise, a binder/sports bra might a possibility. They flatten it a bit. Vice versa I wore shape forms at home, initially, that helped me a lot during dysphoric attacks.

And very true, it’ll be better in a while. I feel like that if someone has a doubt of their gender, they should be open and free to explore it (mind the egg prime directive though!).

To those not sure whether to go on HRT or not – the mental effects come first, physical after. Up to about 3 months it’s generally reversible either way, so after that period should be a good indicator for what someone feels they want.

The calming effect is such a big thing! Previously I’d feel distracted by the sex drive a ton, but now that’s much less the case. It’s as if instead of my body parts thinking for me, I’m deciding that for them. Back in control!

I’ve never had DMT. Weed though… I think aside from the strange laughter if it’s too strong, it’s likewise more relaxing, but that’s on me, I guess.

I had that impostor thing too. I think it would be less the case if less people were still held back in old mindsets, and more of the mindset of “Do whatever you like, slay. Why should I care if it doesn’t harm anybody, when it makes you happy?” I felt liberated from it once I realised I shouldn’t look at stereotypically feminine outfits, and more at how cis women generally dress - just like me. Getting on E helped too, though.

I’m not sure whether the near future will be as open, but I am certain that as Sappho put it, “even in another time”, we will have our liberation. And to heck - I am going to live my best life and so will you. We should see the general queer community as our friends and vice versa :)

I like your idea about us being normal, ha. But when nobody is normal, everyone is. Screw labels, blåhaj hugging forever.

Yes. You seem really cool. Idk why I put the DMT reference in there. I don’t do drugs or anything and never really have outside of weed.

I know it’s what I want to do. Not just because I want to do it, but because I already am and always was a lady. Of course I am because why would anyone want to be the other gender if they weren’t already? Either way, to heck with gender! Humans have really not done well in history. I know much of that was sort of necessary in some ways, but human history is a history of exploitation and terrorism and brainwashing. Even if I die in my transition I will die happy and unafraid. Even if most people don’t understand me, they don’t understand me anyways but, at least now I understand myself. When I admired I was trans 4 years ago. I have found a deep happiness from it that hasn’t went away since then.

I hope your dreams come true and the world is kind to you…

tlekiteki Nov 26

‘Without drugs’ … guuuuuurl its a drug

gandalf_der_12te Nov 26

happy for you :)

what’s really worked well for me is growing my hair long, it’s really done wonders for my self-esteem to look in the mirror and see how pretty i am (no bragging)

it’s currently shoulder long (a bit longer actually) and i want to grow it twice the current length.

da_cow (she/her)Nov 27

I’ve been doing this since like February or so (I do not know exactly when the last time I got my hair cut was), but my hair grows insanely slow. My hair barely covers my ears now.

callistocodes Nov 26

Running to music is a blast, and helps prevent blood clots :)

Congrats cowfriend! Lol sorry to steal your line but I’ve seen you around these parts before 😊

Yay! It sure does feel good.

Enjoy your new female metabolism :)

Hell yeah, I love that it’s all working out!

Berengaria_of_Navarre Nov 27

This gives me a lot of hope for when I start hormones… Whore moans lol.

After following your last posts I’m happy to read it makes you happy!

I kinda miss the days of emotional whirlwind in the head and crying all the time, it got less intense after a few months for me.

When I got hrt I also got prescribed a testosterone blocker, do you not need that with your injections?

da_cow (she/her)Nov 27

Im doing DIY Mono Therapy and I would like to avoid taking blockers.

coolestusername Nov 27

can you say that your cognitive abilities improved?

da_cow (she/her)Nov 27

Would not say that, but I just feel waaaaay happier. Even if it isnt nearly on the level I was on yesterday evening, its still quite an improvement

LadyMeow Nov 27

Yeah, I would say it’s not like I got smarter, or anything, probably dumber, but I’m just empty headed. What really happened is I spent way less time wallowing in dysphoria and wishing I were a girl and all that.

QueenMidna Nov 27

I am incredibly jealous.

That Weird Vegan Nov 29

Same tbh. I want oestrogen D: