A thread:
#SaveHealthcareNotPedophiles
A Missive for a Country Running Out of Patience
There’s a special stink in American politics right now. Not the usual swamp-gas funk we’ve grown nose-blind to, but something deeper, muskier, like a gym sock used in a crime scene.
1/25
Call it what it is: the Epstein stench.
And if you thought 2024 was chaotic, 2025 is shaping up to be the year the emperors strutted out naked and proudly claimed they were wearing “national security.”
Because that’s the line now, isn’t it?
We can’t release the names.
2/25
It’ll endanger America.
Spare me.
The only thing endangered here is the reputational hide of extremely wealthy, incredibly connected adults who couldn’t keep their hands off trafficked girls.
3/25
And now, suddenly, the same people who can’t pass a budget to save their lives can move at warp speed to redact half the page like they’re scrubbing ancient runes off some cursed tablet.
#Save HealthcareNotPedophiles.
Suppose that feels jarring, good. It should.
6/25
Because one group of Americans is dying from medical bankruptcy, and the other is being protected like delicate Fabergé eggs stuffed with NDAs.
The Epstein Cabal: A Bipartisan Tent of Shame
7/25
Let’s be honest: the “Epstein list” is less a list and more a grotesque LinkedIn roster of the rich, powerful, morally bankrupt, and terminally horny.
There are Republicans, Democrats, actors, bankers, royals, CEOs, presidents, preachers, tech bros — a veritable Noah’s Ark of degeneracy.
8/25
Sure, there are a couple Democrats on the periphery. Fine. Give them their light slap upside the head.
“Congratulations, you absolute ding-dongs — you decided the worst human being on the planet was your shuttle service. Genius.”
The dense core of this radioactive nugget?
9/25
Johnson has become the custodian of Epstein’s secrets, the way a raccoon becomes the custodian of your garbage can.
Not because he’s noble, but because he can’t resist digging through the filth.
The Hypocrisy Olympics
12/25
What makes this worse, what turns my blood into a simmering consommé of rage, is what Congress is willing to expose.
Your medical records?
Free game.
Your reproductive history?
Open season.
Your financial struggles?
They’ll strap that to a billboard.
13/25
But the names of the grown-ass adults who cavorted around Jeffrey Epstein’s underage buffet?
Suddenly, we need a national moment of silence and a reading of the Constitution in Gregorian chant before looking at a name.
Give me a break.
These are the same Republicans who:
14/25
• Tell you to "work harder" while billionaires get tax-funded spa treatments
But ask them to release the names of grown men who were allegedly flown to an island where girls were trafficked and abused?
Suddenly, they’re Judi Dench in a spy thriller whispering, “It’s too dangerous.”
16/25
Too dangerous for who?
Not the public.
Not the victims.
Not the truth.
It’s dangerous for the careers of the men whose names are printed there like labels on a jar of rotting pickles.
17/25
The Healthcare Tie-In They Pray You Don’t Notice
Here’s the magic trick: while they’re waving the “dangerous Epstein list” in one hand, they’re gutting healthcare with the other like a butcher who skipped ethics orientation.
18/25
Fewer protections.
Higher premiums.
More debt.
More medical bankruptcies.
More Americans are choosing between chemo and groceries.
19/25
But don’t worry — those same politicians will move heaven and earth to protect the sacred privacy of the men who spent time with Jeffrey “Human Oil Spill” Epstein.
It’s almost performance art.
20/25
#TuckFrump