When I was growing up my father had a wooden mallet he’d made himself. He still has it now, but he had it then too.

It was called a “dongy knocker”.

The thing is, there’s contradictory stories for why it was called that. On the one hand when I looked it up, it seems like it’s an obscure antipodean term. My father was in rural New Zealand in the ‘70s and may well have picked it up the term over there. This is reinforced by the name of a weapon in Furiosa: A Mad Max Saga, the Bommy Knocker, and threads like this.

However it’s also possible I named it, according to a book someone published about working for my father (in the anecdote someone had damaged the fabled mallet and was rather worried about what they’d done!). I’m not worried about doxing myself - I’ve been using this username since 2002 and have clothes with it on. It’s not a secret who I am.