I miss Mitch Hedberg:

When you go to a restaurant and they start a waiting list, "Dufrene, party of two, table ready for Dufrene, party of two." And if no one answers they’ll say the name again: "Dufrene, party of two." But then they’ll move on. "Bush, party of three." Yeah, but what happened to the Dufrenes? Who can eat at a time like this? People are missing. You people are selfish. The Dufrenes are in someone’s trunk right now with duct tape over their mouths, and you’re hungry.