It's #AceAwarenessWeek So, I'm going to talk about being #demisexual
Demisexuality is a subcategory of Asexuality. We too have little to no sexual desire / attraction for people UNTIL we've formed an emotional bond. Then we can be all about the Adult Fun Time. 😉
I can see a stranger's body, & recognize that it's attractive, but it doesn't even remotely make me horny for them. Not until we're emotionally close.
It's important to recognize that people can transition across the allosexual to asexual spectrum through their life. In High School I'd literally have sex with any girl who'd let me. I would have fucked a tree if i could have figured out how.
Now… 🤷♀️ I get horny regularly, but never for people I don't know. Porn & erotica don't do anything for me unless I can imagine myself having an emotional relationship with/as one of the participants.
🧵2/4
People aren't Ace because they haven't met the right person. If you're considering dating an asexual person (specifically not demi), you're NOT going to "change them". You're just going to have to find a way to make peace with not having sex with them ever / often.
BUT ace people need love and affection just as much as anyone else (unless they're Aromantic too). Loving them's just… different.
🧵3/4
Loving an Ace person is about loving being with someone, loving their personality, loving _them_.
BUT allosexual - and even demisexual - folks still have sexual needs. If that's you, & you love an ace person you're gonna have to be up-front about needing to masturbate, or exploring consensual non-monogamy / polyamory.
And I'm not gonna lie, that bit's hard.
🧵4/4
@masukomi I've actually read more about demi-sexuality than about asexuality.
As an allosexual I also had a hard time understanding it in the first place. Especially people on the far end of the spectrum like my partner.
Can't say I fully get it still, but at least I know that it is valid and that the other person simply feels different and that helps a lot.
masukomi
Der Schrank