M R. X. DentithOh, chapter 90. A chapter that has Langdon “ingeniously” using ROT13 to encode a secret message, and also features Langdon critiquing particularly overwrought sentences…
Chapter 90 returns us to a location from earlier in the book, in a way that suspiciously reads like the author going “Look, we can save money if we reuse these sets in the third act…”
Sorry, that was chapter 91. Chapter 92 does the “X finds out y but the reader must remain in the dark” again!
Chapter 93: the Golem has a seizure
In chapter 94 a lot happens which is unbelievable but the biggest issue is that it is hard to fathom that two people couldn’t find a single USB-C cable to charge a phone in a science lab…
Chapter 95 sees the US Ambassador blackmail the head of the CIA on the basis of that thing the reader still doesn’t know about yet
In chapter 96 Langdon and Katherine explore a secret facility. The most exciting part of it is the monorail. Everyone loves a monorail!
Chapter 97: the villain gets told off by his boss because of a video neither of them has seen
Chapter 98 seems to suggest that Katherine, who is meant to be of a similar age to Langdon, did VR experiments in her undergraduate or graduate days, which is technically possible but doesn’t match with the tech she describes
Also, on a narrative level, this book has very little code or puzzle solving by the main character, which was kind of the thing that made the other books interesting. Which is to say everything now hinges on the “big idea” of the book, which is not that interesting…
Chapter 99 sees the plot pivot from noetics to fractals
Okay, chapter 100 repeats the canard that playing first person shooters numbs a person’s empathy. You can tell that this book is written by someone who is not only entering their dotage but listens to talkback
Chapter 101 features a cameo by R2D2!
Oh, chapter 102 makes reference to the previous novel!
Chapter 103 mostly consists of a discussion of what happens when liquid helium decides it wants to be a gas again
In chapter 104 we discover that not only are the CIA growing artificial neurons but they stole the idea 20 years ago from Katherine
Chapter 105 stalls for time
I’m back. 74% of the way through. Not really wanting to read more. Or, indeed, read anything again…
Chapter 106 is mostly about the CIA stealing information from denied patent applications
In chapter 107 the US Marines detain the US Ambassador and a deeply ethically conflicted character is described as the most ethical person a soldier knows…
Chapter 108 is mostly about Langdon and Katherine running to a set of stairs, but the final paragraph of the chapter is a reminder that Penguin Random House are not out of the picture yet
Chapter 109 stalls for time
So, in chapter 110 it is suggested that the CIA’s ultimate plan is to bring people to the point of death so they can then perceive the universal consciousness. I bet a future chapter will lay this out in excruciating detail…
The villain shoots a gun in chapter 111 and is now prepared to monologue
Chapter 112 is the excruciating details, although I guess the revelation that the Stargate Project was actually successful in the world this book embodies is kind of interesting?
Chapter 113 is more alternate history of the Stargate Project
Chapter 114 continues the monologue but it gets interrupted by the Golem
Chapter 115 and the main villain is dead. Plus some property damage to a giant R2D2
Chapter numbering is out again. Chapter 117 reveals that somehow the heroes survived
Chapter 118 reveals that the Golem survived as well
The explosion several chapters ago destroyed the evidence Langdon and Katherine had collated proving the rum doings of the CIA. So now they need to rescue Sasha so that they can then perform a brain scan. That’s chapter 119
Chapter 120 is all about the architecture of conjoined apartments
There are nineteen chapters to go and I have no wish to read any of them tonight
Can I finish this tonight?
Chapter 121: the Golem takes a shower
Chapter 122: The main characters are taking cryptically but I think the twist is that the Golem is Sasha’s other personality
Chapter 123: I was right
Chapter 124: Langdon makes a phone call and Pavel catches a bus
Chapter 125 sees everyone go to a spa
Chapter 126 stalls for time
Chapter 127 wants to get sexy but Langdon goes to sleep
Chapter 128 is leading to some kind of conclusion but the villain of the piece is dead so I don’t care
Chapter 129 sees the ambassador making up protocol in order to slap someone in handcuffs
Chapter 130 reminds us that editors for Penguin Random House are still around
Chapter 131: he had sex after all!
Chapter 132 is all about defending the dodgy practices of the CIA
Chapter 133 forgets that the ambassador was a villain for the first half of the book
Chapter 134 just repeats information from the previous chapters
Chapter 135 is just characters talking to one another as if they are in “Exposition 101”
Chapter 136 sees Sasha catch a flight to Langley
Chapter 137 has Langdon acting all mysterious for the sheer reason that the book can’t be over just yet
Chapter 138 stalls for time
The book that was destroyed was not destroyed. So says chapter 139
The epilogue was pointless. But now it is all over
That really was a terrible book. There are few puzzles in it, so Langdon actually has precious little to do. The Penguin Random House sections go on for too long, and characters talk about trivial concepts as if they are the next big thing for large sections of the book
Brown wrote one decent airport thriller (Angels and Demons) and one successful book (The DaVinci Code). His other books have got progressively worse, but this really is a precipitous drop in quality. I doubt I will read the next one, which probably won’t be out for five to eight years anyway
Which is the thing that gets me. How can a man who writes so poorly talk so long to complete a book? That’s a mystery Robert Langdon should try to solve…