Everyone always wants to be the cock cage but it's constantly flopping over onto the space next to it or rolling off the board with the slightest bump.
Not if you wear it, as nature intended, and slide around the edge of the board with it every turn.

Asserting dominance by…

… being subservient??

These tactics must be studied, we are not prepared.

But then the top hat doesn't fit anymore.
On top of the head, of course.
Go to Jail … or your top hat wearing cock cage will get pressed with the iron