Why did you give it network access, you dumb cu-. Actually, never mind that: Why didn’t you just buy a washing machine? You know, a machine that washes things.

Bought a new dishwasher for my parents a couple of months ago and every single available model (at the store) had wifi/app connectivity. I could turn it off but there’s no “simple” devices available. Some of them require the app to set the machine up or at least make it harder to do without it. I mean a washing machine needs to be emptied relatively quick after it finishes washing so I at least see some use to a notification but a dishwasher? Fuck that.

Why would it need to be emptied quick?

I usually set mine to work overnight (when power’s cheaper) and take it out in the morning. Makes air drying outside more convenient as well, since it maximizes solar availability.

Not to mention, my machine is chugging along perfectly fine. 26 years and counting.

If you leave clothes sitting in a washing machine for more than a couple of hours they will start to mildew and smell terrible. Then you end up having to rewash everything