Upgrading from iPhone 13 to iPhone 17 isn't evolution. It's Stockholm Syndrome. A ritual of self-delusion wrapped in anodized aluminum & OLED lies. I'm not chasing progress. I'm paying for the privilege of being slowly suffocated by sleeker chains. The apps load faster so they can disappoint me sooner. The screen is brighter so I can see the enshittificaiton in high definition.
My iPhone 13 was the last whisper of restraint, back when apps opened without hissing a subscription in my face.
Back when Apple pretended to care about user freedom, before every swipe came pre-coated in corporate grease. It still had a Lightning port. Total pain in the ass, sure but at least it was uniquely Apple's. Now it's USB-C, but only cuz Apple got dragged kicking & litigating.
Don't worry, they'll still find a way to. make my $30 cable obsolete by 2026.
They killed the mute switch, replaced it with an "action button." Code for 'you'll need 3 menu dives to do what used to take one thumb flick."
Siri's still as dumb as a bag of dongles but now she's dressed in Generative Ai glitter to distract us from the rot beneath.
This is no upgrade but a velvet coffin for my agency. An interactive museum of features I used to control. Now repackaged as services with monthly fees. The future isn't mobile but monetized.
The iPhone 17 isn't for me.
It's for the ad networks, data brokers, the stakeholders.
I'm just renting the privilege of compliance.
🇪🇷Götterdämmerung
tuxmips