Tonight I took my first pill. A pill for hope, for progress, for better times. I don’t quite know what to expect yet, which makes me nervous since I have no control over it. I can’t foresee pure positivity, but at least I can try to create it myself out of whatever happens in the future. I made a decision and a choice, and I’m content with that despite the uncertainty of what awaits me.

It’s the discomfort that is the hardest part. The discomfort of not knowing what one’s choices will accomplish or change going forward. Not being able to see into the future, but being forced to live in the present. My mind stalls—I’m tired. The day’s worries don’t seem to be tired, on the contrary. The restlessness feels endless these days, and I feel like I’m wasting time on meaningless thoughts while walking in circles.

Tired. So tired. I don’t know what to do with myself these days or how to handle it. My energy has disappeared like the sun vanishing when the calendar says autumn.

Maybe a night’s sleep will help. Tomorrow can only be better. Tomorrow will be better.