James CrowleyI generally prefer Operation Watch Horror Movies During Decorative Gourd Season to be a celebration, but given the state of the world and my own health (both somehow even worse than usual), I'll settle for a distraction.
A review of WNUF Halloween Special (2013)
I have a very low tolerance for both found footage and mockumentary, but this is probably as good as this sort of thing can be, at least for someone whose childhood memories are of The Mystery of Al Capone's Vaults (which I watched live) and the Satanic Panic rather than Ghostwatch-era BBC1. I grew up in a major broadcast market where even the UHF channels were generally more tightly produced than this—shout-out to U68, the music-video station with better music than MTV and news segments from Uncle Floyd—but other than the overly-broad initial "news" segment, the verisimilitude to fourth-wall-break ratio
A review of Ready or Not (2019)
Leaden splatstick that telegraphs every twist, punchline and gory gag. Weaving is fine and I'll always have a soft spot for Czerny but this is as tedious as slogging through Monopoly on a family game night, as everyone goes through the obvious motions and is eliminated, too slowly, one by one.
My review of Longlegs on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/b9EAHT
A review of Longlegs (2024)
Strong Exorcist III vibes (complimentary) but also strong Exorcist III vibes (derogatory). Nearly turned this off after the cold open and too-clever title sequence. Regretted not having done so after the stinger and too-clever credit sequence. Liked pretty much everything in between, except for Nic Cage, whose performance, as usual, damn near ruins the movie for me. [Mad Women: Kiernan Shipka]
My review of Next of Kin on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/baa1rl
A review of Next of Kin (1982)
Extremely pleasurable blend of old-fashioned Gothic psychological thriller and 80s horror, as if Terence Fisher or Robert Aldrich were given access to a Steadicam and Klaus Schulze of Tangerine Dream. Jacki Kerin gives a fantastic and enigmatic performance as very much not a virginal governess but a semi-reluctant modern caregiver, having just inherited the family estate/old folks’ home formerly operated by her mother. She’s ambivalent about the whole situation—worrying that she that she is perceived as “unreliable, unpredictable, crazy”—but she also seamlessly reintegrates into the routines she clearly grew up in. (The writing, performances, and staging sell that these are
My review of The Wailing on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bacZkt
A review of The Wailing (2016)
Blood, bathos, sadism, and tedium, that's the Na Hong-Jin formula. Could have saved myself two and a half hours if I'd realized this was from the same director as The Chaser and The Yellow Sea, two films I despised almost as much as this one. Was actively rooting for the demonic forces to slaughter every one of these characters. Yes, even that one.
My review of Tom Yum Phee on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/baFVJH
A review of Tom Yum Phee (2005)
Unsubtitled Thai rip on Youtube so I completely missed any nuance beyond broad storytelling tropes, but I’m at least passably fluent in the true language of this movie: low-budget supernatural martial arts comedy. Notable for featuring a young, buff Mum Jokmok AKA Petchtai Wongkamlao; the listed release date of 2005 puts this two years after Ong-Bak but this movie seems to actually be from his 90s-era horror-action period. Opens with a black magic duel between a Bat-Demon and a Warrior-Priest. They jump around and wave swords and shoot energy bolts at each other for a while until Bat-Demon’s impatient apprentice
My review of Magic Cop on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/baI2w5
A review of Magic Cop (1990)
The Hong Kong police of 1990 aren't equipped to cope with a secret society that's using zombies as drug mules. Fortunately there's one small-town officer who is, and he's gonna show these kids from the big city that their newfangled scientific policing methods and open-plan apartments cannot compare to piety and mastery of feng shui. For better and for worse this is basically the Mr. Vampire analogue of when Hammer Films updated its Dracula flicks to the "Swinging Carnaby" era. Lam Ching-ying may have ditched the unibrow and daopao but he's the One Eyebrow Priest in every way that matters,
My review of Let Me In on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bbcQyv
A review of Let Me In (2010)
It's been long enough that I have forgotten most of the details of the novel and first adaptation, but this is pretty darn good for a movie that has no reason to exist. Weaknesses are the overly-sentimental approach, the special effects that are more unfortunate than uncanny, and (my perrenial complaint) Giacchino's obtrusive score. (Child actors who can actually act tend to be stuck playing "12, but for a very long time" in TV and film; seeing this many genuinely young genuine talents put in these situations is way creepier to me than than anything within the fiction.)
My review of Abigail on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bbfaXz
A review of Abigail (2024)
Surprisingly enjoyable and occasionally funny, then squanders any goodwill with an excruciatingly drawn out splatstick action climax of no interest. Like Ready or Not, it keeps bludgeoning its own gleeful premise with thuddingly obvious Millennial deflationary antihumor until I'm just waiting for the fucking thing to end.
My review of Stake Land on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bbKF4x
My review of The Vampire Doll on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bbQ7NP
A review of The Vampire Doll (1970)
Gothic ghost story from Toho with western elements. I almost wish I'd watched without subtitles: the moody visual storytelling with Hammer Horror and AIP Poe Cycle vibes, and the insistent harpsichord score, do most of the heavy lifting. I only know like six words of Japanese but three of them are aniki, shinda, and akuma (elder brother, dead, demon), and permutations of those words are like half the dialogue. Good times.
My review of Lake of Dracula on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bddG9Z
A review of Lake of Dracula (1971)
An even more perfect pastiche of Hammer Horror than The Vampire Doll, for good (moody sets, autumnal fashions) and ill (irreconcilable differences between old-fashioned style and modern setting). As a Gothic it's an incredible mood piece and lookbook but kind of rote, a definite "for fans of the genre" exercise.
My review of Evil of Dracula on Letterboxd https://boxd.it/bdgl6L
A review of Evil of Dracula (1974)
Michio Yamamoto's vampire "trilogy" wasn't meant to be binge-watched any more than the Hammer Dracula or AIP Poe cycles it draws so heavily from. So many cast, crew, and gags are repeated that they start to blur together. This was easily my least favorite of the three. The girls' school setting (and increased prurience) doesn't do much for me. They aren't willing to let the male protagonist go full Jonathan Harker victim so you lose the Gothic heroine angle that made the first two work emotionally. This has some of the best staging and performances of the cycle—the final shot